


Inspiration of Paradise

by orphan_account



Series: The Kosei Island Duology [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Character Death, It's really complicated, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, San Junipero, also some time travel, but also not really, but it's explained in-fic, it has a happy ending though because i HATE tragic endings, mentions of medically-assisted suicide, mentions of muscular atrophy, san junipero au, sci-fi ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yusuke Kitagawa is a reserved newcomer to the party island of Kosei, a place where the people are beautiful and the surf, sun, and sex is plentiful. He meets Akira Kurusu, a beautiful and charismatic party-hopper and before he knows it, he begins a whirlwind romance with him.No love comes without complications though.This is their story.ShuKita side of the Kosei Island Duology





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is the ShuKita side of my Black Mirror/San Junipero AU. I know I got started on writing for the ShuAke side first but like hell am I going to not write a fic for my OTP, especially since I was so indecisive about which ship to write this AU for since it works so well for both. 
> 
> In any case, like i mentioned on the ShuAke side, no prior knowledge of Black Mirror or its San Junipero episode is needed in order to read this AU, but I'd still highly recommend people watch that episode anyway because it saved my gay heart in the first month of 2017.
> 
> Also, special thanks to finalwinterwriter on tumblr for providing me with the title idea for this fic! Thank you so much!
> 
> Anyway, I'll stop rambling and let you all enjoy the first chapter!

The night air on Kosei Island was warm and balmy as Yusuke walked through the city, taking in the beautiful sight of the city lights and the sensations of the city like the honking car horns and the whooping and hollering of people in the streets.

It was his first night on the island, and despite everything that Yusuke had heard about Kosei Island and its central city of the same name, absolutely NOTHING compared to standing in the middle of the real deal.

Yusuke looked around once more at his surroundings, taking in the details of all the buildings and lights and people. He noticed a boy with messy black hair and glasses walk past him, turn around briefly, and then disappear into a building a few feet in front of him as another boy with short, dark hair followed shortly after.

In curiosity, Yusuke walked closer toward the building that the black-haired stranger had walked into, realizing that it was, on closer inspection, a nightclub. He looked up at the sign, which read “Club Newcomer” in bright pink-and-blue neon lights. Just beyond the doors, he heard dance music faintly playing.

Intrigued, Yusuke pushed through the doors. As soon as he had entered, he was greeted with the colorful glow of neon lights, hazy fog and glitter being thrown in the air, the sound of loud, booming bass, and the smell of sweat, alcohol, and smoke. All of the sensations together seemed to clash in Yusuke's mind. It seemed like so much for his brain to process, and the more he stood, trying to take everything in, absorbing every detail so he could capture it on paper later, the dizzier he started to feel. He looked around, trying to find a quieter area that he could go to before he spotted a side room that was lined with arcade machines. He walked toward it, passing through the crowd of people moving and dancing on the dancefloor as he did so until he was finally inside the room and standing in front of an arcade machine. “STAR FORNEUS” the screen read in bright blinking lights. Yusuke blinked and moved the joystick.

“It’s got different endings.” A short girl with headphones and long, orange hair said, looking up from playing her game on the machine next to his. “Depending on if you play on one or two player mode.” She added.

“That’s interesting.” Yusuke said as he pressed a button curiously.

“Wanna help me unlock them? I’ve beaten my high score like, ten times in single-player mode.” She added as she canceled out her game. "I'd really like to know how the different endings go."

“I guess one game couldn’t hurt.” Yusuke agreed as the girl stepped to his machine and inserted a few coins. The music started up and soon, Yusuke and the girl started playing this game where two space rangers had to shoot asteroids. Yusuke didn’t know how long he had been playing, but his flow of concentration got broken once he hit the fifth level and his player got struck by an asteroid.

“GAME OVER” the screen started blinking.

“Awww dang!” The orange-haired girl said. “Good game though!” She said. “Do you want to play another round?”

Feeling overwhelmed by the noise of the club once more now that he no longer had the game to focus on, Yusuke shook his head, feeling dizzy. 

“I think I’m going to go sit down somewhere.” He said, excusing himself as he did so. “It was quite nice to play that game with you.”

“Alright, catch you later!” The girl said as she put her headphones on and went back to playing the game.

 Yusuke walked out of the room and back into the club to find a place to sit down until he found an empty booth. He walked over and sat down before he took out his sketchbook and pencil and started drawing what he saw.

As soon as he started drawing though, he saw someone head toward him in his peripheral vision until suddenly the black-haired boy with glasses that he had first seen walking into the club was standing in front of him.

“Go with whatever I say.” He said as he edged his way onto the seat next to Yusuke.

“Excuse me?” Yusuke asked, curious as to what was happening.

“I’ll explain later, just help me out.” The black-haired boy said, just as a skinny boy with short, messy bluish-black hair showed up.

“Okay I’m sorry Yuki, I really don’t want to have to say this.” The mysterious brunet said. “But can you please leave me alone? I really don’t want to red-light you.”

“Oh… Okay.” Yuki said in response, his eyes downcast in disappointment. “I just thought we had made a connection last week and I thought, since, you know we have two and a half hours left until midnight...”

“Last week was last week.” The black-haired boy said, wrapping his arm around Yusuke’s shoulders. “But right now I want to spend some time with my friend here who I haven’t seen in a while. He’s very sick. He’s only got 6 months left to live.”

“Five, actually.” Yusuke said, feeling only slightly miffed that this person insinuated that he was going to die.

“Listen, I don’t want to have to red-light you, but my friend and I want to spend some time to catch up.” The black-haired boy said. “You know, private time.”

The other boy sighed. “Okay.” He said dejectedly. He turned to Yusuke. “Hey, I’m sorry.” He said.

Yusuke felt briefly taken aback by that comment but he instantly recovered, playing along with the mysterious boy’s ruse. “That’s okay.”

“Hey listen, there are tons of other cute boys here on Kosei Island.” The brunet said. “So there’s no use getting hung up over me when you can find someone else, alright?” He blew him a kiss and gave a small wave before the other boy shoved his hands into his pockets and started walking away back into the crowd.

As soon as the other boy was gone, the mysterious brunet sighed in relief and exasperation.

“Sorry for killing you.” He said, turning to Yusuke. “You know, the whole ‘six months to live’ thing?” He paused. “Sorry. Five… Five was a nice touch.”

Yusuke smiled.

The other boy stuck his hand out towards him. “I’m Akira Kurusu.” He said, introducing himself.

Yusuke sat up straighter. “Yusuke Kitagawa.” He said, shaking Akira’s hand.

Akira pulled his hand back from the handshake as he looked back in the direction that Yuki had left in.

“He’s not a bad guy.” Akira said. “I feel kind of bad but he can get a little too much and too clingy sometimes when I need my space. I met him at Shujin, you see.”

“Wait, what’s ‘Shujin?’” Yusuke asked, leaning in.

Akira raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You must be new because if you don’t already know what Shujin is,” He began. “Then you don’t wanna know.”

“No?” Yusuke asked curiously.

“Hey, you know what?” Akira said, removing his arm from Yusuke’s shoulder and sitting up. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Oh… No it’s really—” Yusuke began, feeling flustered at this boy’s offer.

“No objections, I’m buying you a drink.” Akira said as he gently tugged on Yusuke’s wrist and dragged him along to the bar, where they sat down at the bar.

“Lala-chan!” Akira said, catching the bartender’s attention. “Two rum and cokes!”

“Alright.” The bartender said and started getting to work on mixing the cocktails.

“Really, thank you, but there’s no need.” Yusuke said.

“Too late.” Akira said, smirking as he turned back around to face Yusuke.

“So, where were we?” He asked, looking Yusuke up and down and staring at his face.

“What are you doing?” Yusuke asked, noticing where Akira was looking.

“I’m regarding you.” Akira said matter-of-factly. “You’re really handsome, sorry if I’m staring.” He said as a slight blush rose to his cheeks.

“Oh… thank you.” Yusuke said, feeling his heart start beating faster at the compliment while he stared back at Akira’s face, taking in the sight of his features (which, Yusuke had to admit, were all very beautiful to look at). He paused when he looked at Akira’s glasses.

“I have a question about those glasses.” He asked, pointing to them. “Are they real?”

“Yes, they are real.” Akira said, blinking at the odd question.

“No, I mean, do you need them?” Yusuke asked, trying to explain himself. “I thought people on Kosei Island don’t need such things, since, you know…”

“Oh!” Akira said, taking off his glasses and handing them to Yusuke to look at. “The glasses are real, but the lenses aren’t.” He explained. “I used to wear them a lot when I was in junior high and high school and they just kind of became a comfort thing after I outgrew the need for them.”

“Interesting.” Yusuke said as he handed the glasses back. “I like them. They suit you. I would have thought that they were some kind of fashion statement. But then again, the rest of your outfit looks too plain to be one.” He admitted humorously.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Akira said in mock-offense.

“It just seems like everyone here is dressing like they’re in a movie or some kind of fashion magazine.” Yusuke pointed out, looking at the crowd of people in front of them. “It’s all very beautiful and aesthetically-pleasing, but it seems like they’re all dressing how they think they’re supposed to, and not how they want to.” He explained. “But you? You’re authentically you, and I admire that.” He said, smiling.

“Thank you.” Akira replied, smiling back as Lala-chan brought them their drinks. Akira took a glass as Yusuke did the same.

“Well, Cheers!” Akira said, holding his glass up. Yusuke brought his up to clink against Akira’s before he took a swig from it before he accidentally coughed, wholly surprised by the sweetness of the cola and the even more unexpected fiery bitterness of the rum mixing on his tongue.

“Never had it before?” Akira asked with a chuckle.

“No, never.” Yusuke admitted. “It’s good though.” He said as he took another sip from his glass.

“So do you live here?” Yusuke asked.

“No.” Akira said as he took a sip of his drink. “I’m kind of a tourist, you might say. Just kind of here to have fun, you know?”

“I guess.” Yusuke said.

Akira stopped and sat straight up as the song changed into an upbeat one with a lot of drumbeats and synth.

“That’s my favorite song!” He exclaimed, putting his glass down and hopping off the barstool. “We have to dance to this!” He said, grabbing Yusuke by the wrist and pulling him off of the barstool.

“W-wait,” Yusuke started. “Dance Together?”

“Well, duh.” Akira said as he pulled Yusuke along. “Come on.”

“I don’t d—” Yusuke started as he felt himself being pulled along until he was standing in the middle of the dancefloor with Akira, who had started to move his body in time with the music as Yusuke felt him place his hands on his hips.

Yusuke took a deep breath as he moved along to try to humor Akira, trying to keep the feeling of the crowd closing in around him at bay.

After about seven minutes of awkward dancing, in which Yusuke could increasingly feel himself being overwhelmed and dizzy by all the sensations around him, he started walking way, pushing his way through the crowd until he reached a back door, barely holding it together through the sea of moving bodies, which all seem to look like they were melting together from how dizzy Yusuke felt and from how fuzzy his vision was starting to look like.

He burst outside into the relatively cooler air. He looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath as he inhaled the clean, clear air, letting it fill his lungs and got his bearings once more as his head started to clear.

Within minutes, he heard the door open. He turned to face it.

“Why did you leave?” Akira asked as he stepped out.

“I’m sorry.” Yusuke said sheepishly. “I get overwhelmed by bright lights and loud music sometimes. It can be a lot for my brain to process without me feeling dizzy.” He said.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Akira asked.

“I tried.” Yusuke admitted. “But you seemed so enthusiastic about going dancing, it seemed like you wouldn’t have listened.” He admitted. “And you looked like you were having too much fun for me to ruin it.”

“Sorry about that.” Akira apologized, running his fingers through his hair sheepishly. “It’s just… Saturday nights once a week. It’s like no time, I get impatient.”

“No, I understand.” Yusuke said.

“Still, that doesn’t excuse how I ignored what you had to say. I’m sorry.” Akira said as he stepped closer. He paused.

“Hey, let me make this up to you.” Akira said. “Are you hungry by any chance?”

“That’s an odd question to ask since it has nothing to do with what we just talked about.” Yusuke began. “But yes, I am.” He admitted right as his stomach growled loudly, almost as if to confirm what he just said.

Akira chuckled. “Good. Because I’m getting kind of hungry too, and I know this really amazing café nearby that’s still open. Want to come along? I’ll pay.”

Yusuke nodded. “That sounds good, actually. Thank you.”

“Awesome!” Akira said, his face lighting up with a smile. “Let’s go!”

The pair ended up walking for a few blocks, chatting and bantering until they stopped in front of a cozy-looking café with the sign reading “Café LeBlanc”.

“We’re here!” Akira said cheerfully as he stepped towards the door and held it open for Yusuke.

“Thank you.” Yusuke said as he stepped inside. He was greeted with the sweet smell of coffee as the sound of a bean grinder was heard as he looked around the café, taking in the sight of dark wood paneling and stained-glass lampshades hung around some hanging light fixtures.

Akira stepped toward the counter, where a man in his late 40’s with black hair and a goatee was counting change in the register before going back to pour some coffee into a mug to hand to a customer.

“Sojiro-San!” Akira said cheerfully, greeting the man. “Long time, no see!”

The man looked up. “Kurusu-san, It’s been a while.” He said, smiling slightly. “What can I get for you?”

“Just the usual for me.” Akira said. He glanced back at Yusuke. “What about you, what do you want?”

“Oh,” Yusuke said, realizing he had been addressed. “Can I get a croque monsieur?” He politely asked the man.

“One ham-and-cheese croissant with drip coffee and a croque monsieur it is.” Sojiro said. “Will you be paying separately or together?” He asked, stepping towards the cash register.

“Together.” Akira said, pulling out his wallet and handing some money over to Sojiro.

“Out of curiosity, have you seen Futaba anywhere?” Sojiro asked as he put the money away and got to work making the food.

“I think the last time I saw her, she was in the arcade at Club Newcomer.” Akira responded.

“She’s always there.” Sojiro said humorously, shaking his head. “I should have known she would be there.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s beaten her high score in ‘Star Forneus’ at least ten times by now.” Akira chuckled. “I tried to help her unlock one of the two-player endings the last week, but I wasn’t skilled enough to help her reach the final battle.”

“Wait; is Futaba by any chance a short girl with long orange hair and headphones?” Yusuke asked, remembering the girl he had first talked to back at the club.

Sojiro nodded. “That is her alright.” He said.

“Wait, did she ask you to help her unlock a two-player ending too?” Akira asked.

“Yes, and I made it to level 5 until my player got killed in an asteroid blast.” Yusuke said proudly.

“That’s not bad, good job!” Akira said as Sojiro handed the boys their food.

“Thank you!” Yusuke replied happily.

“Should we go sit down somewhere?” Akira asked as he gestured to a cozy-looking booth.

Yusuke nodded. “Yes, Let’s do that.” He said as he walked over and sat down while Akira sat down across from him.

“Anyway, let’s dig in!” Akira said as he picked up his croissant sandwich.

“I’m already ahead of you on that.” Yusuke said as he picked up his fork

The pair ate in silence until Akira finally spoke up.

“Hey, I have a question.” Akira asked as he finished scarfing down his croissant.

“What is it?” Yusuke asked.

“What’s in the bag?” Akira asked, pointing to the satchel slung across Yusuke’s body.

“Oh, this?” Yusuke asked, reaching into his bag and pulling out his sketchbook. “It’s my sketchbook.”

“Can I see it?’ Akira asked curiously.

“Sure. Please be careful with it, though.” Yusuke said as he handed the spiral-ringed book over to Akira, who wiped his hands on a napkin before he took the sketchbook and started flipping through it.

“What do you think?” Yusuke asked after Akira had flipped through a few pages.

“These are amazing!” Akira breathed as he continued to flip through Yusuke’s sketchbook.

“Really? I’m glad you think so!” Yusuke said as he finished off his plate.

“So are you like some kind of artist or something?” Akira asked.

Yusuke stopped. He was not expecting that kind of question, let alone was prepared to deal with the flood of memories he was recalling at the thought of answering the question. Still, it would be rude not to answer.

“I was.” He said quietly, feeling bitter at the memory. “Up until…”

“Until what?” Akira asked curiously.

“Actually, can we please not talk about this?” Yusuke said, shifting uncomfortably.

“Okay. I understand.” Akira said gently as he gently handed the sketchbook back to Yusuke, who gently put it away.

“I’m sorry, I’d answer that, but it is still a sore spot for me.” Yusuke explained.

“Like I said, I understand. There’s no need to apologize.” Akira said, reaching across the table to put his hand over Yusuke’s. “The good thing about Kosei Island though, is that anything is possible, so if you want to become an artist again, you totally can here.”

Yusuke smiled slightly, feeling his heart flutter slightly at the contact. “When you put it like that, I guess you’re right.” He said as he stretched and moved his fingers of his free hand. “Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” Akira said. He paused. “So should we get going? There’s an hour and a half until midnight.” He said. “We could go for a walk? I can show you a bit more of the city if you’d like.”

Yusuke smiled. “I’d love that, actually.” He said as he got up, Akira following suit.

“See ya!” Akira said, waving at Sojiro before he stepped out.

“Thank you so much.” Yusuke said before he followed Akira out the door and out into the cooler air. “So, where should we go?” Yusuke asked Akira.

“Is there anywhere you want to go?” Akira asked as Yusuke felt him gently slip his hand into his. Yusuke froze at first at the contact before he relaxed and gently squeezed back.

“Or is there anything you want to do that you haven’t done yet?” He asked as he stopped and turned toward Yusuke, stepping forward slightly as he did.

Yusuke sighed in wonder as he looked up aimlessly, thinking about all the things he could do. “Oh… So many things.” Yusuke said. “So many things and people I still have yet to draw and paint…”

“Well, if you want, we could make art of our own together.” Akira said as he stepped closer and put his free hand on Yusuke’s chest.

“Really?” Yusuke said, feeling a smile spread on his face at the thought of being able to draw something new.

“Yeah.” Akira said as he slowly slid his free hand across Yusuke’s chest. “Wanna go to bed with me?” He suggested. “We could be back at mine in like —” He snapped his fingers as a demonstration.

Yusuke’s eyes widened as he realized the hidden meaning behind Akira’s words and awkwardly backed away.

“I’m sorry… I’ve never done anything like that.” He admitted, suddenly feeling equal parts awkward and flustered.

“All the more reason...” Akira said, smirking as he stepped closer and put his hands on Yusuke’s waist. Yusuke could start to feel raindrops on his skin.

“You’re so nice.” Yusuke said sadly as he looked up at the raining sky. “But I can’t.”

“Oh… Okay.” Akira said disappointedly as he moved slightly back away from Yusuke.

“I’m really sorry.” Yusuke said.

“No, I get it.” Akira said. “It’s okay.”

“It’s just that I’m engaged.” Yusuke said, trying to explain himself.  “I have a fiancée, Haru.”

Akira paused, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Yusuke.

“And is Haru here?” He asked, slowly stepping back toward Yusuke.

“No, she’s—” Yusuke began.

“Elsewhere?” Akira asked as he finished Yusuke’s sentence.

Yusuke gulped and nodded. “Y-yes.” He stuttered. He turned around, suddenly feeling awkward.

“I’m sorry.” Yusuke apologized. “I have to go.” He said, clutching his satchel close to his chest to prevent it from getting wet from the rain.

“In this?” Akira asked.

“It’s been really nice to meet you.” Yusuke said, awkwardly sticking his hand out for a handshake.

“Likewise.” Akira said as he took Yusuke’s hand and gently shook it.

“I am truly sorry.” Yusuke said as he turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. After he walked a few steps, he stopped and turned around, only to find that Akira was no longer there. He sighed disappointedly, rubbing his arms from the chilliness of the rain as he kept walking into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

The next week, Yusuke stood in front of the mirror and tried on a variety of outfits. He had no particular idea why, after all, he did tell Akira he thought most people were trying too hard with their appearances. Still, as Yusuke looked through his closet, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and experiment with his appearance to see if anything else might fit his style, after all, Kosei Island is an experience, and one that should be lived out to the fullest. There was also the matter that some small part of him did want to keep up the good impression that he had seemed to make on Akira the previous week, especially considering the fact that he was going to go back to brave the club’s atmosphere just to try to find the beautiful black-haired boy again.

_“We're talking away  
I don't know what I'm to say, _

_I'll say it anyway  
Today's another day to find you _

_Shying away.  
I'll be coming for your love, okay?”_

The radio in the background was playing a string of 80’s hits as Yusuke took out a large number of hangers loaded with clothes. Unlike the music and lights in the club, the radio was kept at a nice, unobtrusive level, and thus provided an actual helpful means of setting the mood instead of cause a major distraction that bordered on an internal shutdown.

Yusuke got changed into his first outfit: a gray button-up jacket with a pink undershirt and dress pants. He stared in the mirror, taking in his reflection before he decided that not only was he too over-dressed for the occasion, he’d be over-dressed in general, especially considering the climate and weather on Kosei Island. He quickly took off the jacket and shirt and neatly folded it before he put it away. He quickly put on a loose, long-sleeved, tunic-like top with gray, blue, and black diagonal bands. He stared once more at his reflection, almost considering approving the outfit before he realized with the shirt’s long sleeves, he would be heavily sweating in the summer heat in no time. He quickly discarded it and put on an outfit consisting of galaxy-print leggings, a headband, a purple tank top with a star-shaped design, and a large number of multi-colored jelly bracelets. He stood in front of the mirror, trying to figure out just WHAT he thought of the outfit before he thought back to the way the people in the club dressed like. Upon realizing that he was dressing EXACTLY like all the people there who were trying too hard, he quickly discarded the ridiculous-looking outfit and switched it out for his dress pants and a simple purple button-up shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves.

Putting on his clothes, Yusuke stared at his reflection once more before he nodded in approval, moving to the radio to turn it off before he stepped out to go to the club.

~~~~~

Despite all the distracting haze, bass, and lights, Yusuke almost immediately saw Akira the moment he entered the club. He felt his face heat up as a warm feeling entered his chest at the sight of the black-haired boy at the bar. That was before he noticed Akira was talking to a black-haired girl with a clover-shaped pin in her hair. Yusuke saw Akira lean in to her ear to say something before he got off the barstool to take her by the hand and lead her to the middle of the dancefloor before they started dancing together. Yusuke wasn’t going to be deterred though, and it only took him a brief moment of staring before Akira turned and made eye contact with him, acknowledging his presence.

Realizing that the song and the whole process of waiting for an opportunity to talk to Akira could take a while, Yusuke quickly made his way over to the bar and placed a drink order to distract himself. When the bartender placed his drink on the counter, Yusuke quickly took it and moved away from the distracting and draining lights and noise and to a quieter booth off to the side.

After the song ended, Yusuke noticed Akira and the black-haired girl move to the booth across from Yusuke’s and sat down. Yusuke tried to look away as he saw Akira snake his arm around the girl’s shoulders as she talked with him, but Akira caught him in the act of staring and made eye contact with him again. Yusuke quickly cast his eyes back to his drink to make himself seem more innocent about what he was doing, but soon he quickly looked back up to Akira, only to make eye contact with him more.

This continued a few more times as the girl kept talking and Akira seemed to make polite conversation as he kept making eye contact with Yusuke, who, try as he might to look innocent and not like someone who was obviously showing immense interest in Akira by looking at the wall or the arcade, kept looking back at him until finally, Akira leaned over to say something to the girl before he got up to leave for the restroom. Yusuke got up from his seat and followed Akira.

When Yusuke stepped into the restroom, he found Akira standing in front of the mirror and adjusting his clothes and fixing his hair. Suddenly unsure of what to say, Yusuke just stared in silence as he tried to collect his thoughts on what he was going to say and how to start it. Luckily for him, Akira ended up breaking the silence first.

“I thought you said you didn’t like going into clubs?” Akira asked. “Don’t they make you feel dizzy and disoriented?”

Yusuke shook his head. “I don’t like them for that exact reason,” He explained. “But I decided to come back here anyway because I wanted to find you.”

Akira stopped what he was doing and turned to face Yusuke. “Oh?” He asked curiously. “And why is that?”

“I just…” Yusuke began before he stopped, completely at a loss for words. “I don’t know how to do this.” He said.

“Do what?” Akira asked, looking at him with a look of confusion.

“I don’t know how to do any of… this.” Yusuke explained. “I don’t know how anything works beyond making eyes at someone you haven’t stopped thinking of for over a week.” He paused. “Can you please make this easy for me?”

A look of understanding passed over Akira’s face as he turned to face Yusuke and moved closer to take both of his hands.

“Do you want to get in my car?” Akira asked.

Yusuke nodded. “Yes.” He said.

Akira nodded in acknowledgement, turning around and swiftly leading Yusuke out the doors of the bathroom, through the club and outside into the fresh air outdoors. Akira led Yusuke through a parking lot until they were standing in front of a shiny red Cadillac convertible. Akira took his keys out and pressed a button. The car unlocked with a beep before he hopped into the driver’s seat while Yusuke followed suit and got into the front passenger seat. He buckled himself in while Akira stuck the key in the ignition and turned the car on before driving away.

“You have a very nice car.” Yusuke commented politely, admiring the soft, creamy texture of the leather seats and the sleek, lit-up dashboard , overall taking in the fact that he was sitting in by far, the most expensive mode of transportation he had ever been in in his life.

“Thank you.” Akira said as he turned to flash Yusuke a smile. “It’s my favorite one.”

Yusuke sat back in his seat as he watched the road in front of him.

“So, how long have you been here?” Yusuke asked as he turned to look at the boy in the driver’s seat, curious to learn more about him.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Akira asked in confusion as he let a car cut in front of him.

“How long have you been here?” Yusuke asked again, repeating his question.

“On Kosei Island?” Akira asked in clarification. “About a couple months.” He replied. “I plan to stay here long enough to enjoy myself, so I guess I’m a tourist like you— OH SHIT!” Akira suddenly yelled as he sharply swerved away from a car driving towards him, causing their own vehicle to veer sharply off the road and into the sand of a beach. The sharp, sudden, shocking movement prompted Yusuke to involuntarily yelp in in panic as he felt his heart almost seize up.

As soon as the sound of the car driving off faded away into the distance, Akira turned to face Yusuke. “Are you okay?” He asked in concern.

Yusuke took a deep breath., followed by another, and yet another one once more until he felt his heart rate calm down. He loosened his grip on the car seat that he didn’t even know he had tightened in the first place before he turned to Akira and nodded.

“I think I am now.” He said in response.

“Okay, that’s good.” Akira said, cracking a relieved smile, which cracked into a grin as he started laughing. “But man, you should have seen your face!” He laughed. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop laughing soon, but the look on your face was priceless!”

“Shouldn’t you be paying more attention to where you are driving?” Yusuke said as he pouted indignantly. “We would not have ended up in this situation if you had paid attention to the road.”

“It’s fine, we’re almost there anyway.” Akira reassured as Yusuke saw a low, one-story beach house with a front porch pull into view.

Akira parked the car and got out before he walked over to Yusuke’s side and opened the door for him. Yusuke then walked with Akira up the stairs to the front door before Akira unlocked it and stepped into the dimly-lit living room. Yusuke looked around in awe at the sheer size and the sleek decorations of the room.

“Do you like it?” Akira asked, tossing his keys into a bowl on the counter.

“It’s amazing…” Yusuke breathed in wonder, looking at a painting hung up on the wall.

“I’m glad you like it.” Akira said. “I like it too. I got it because it kind of reminds me of the place I grew up in.” He said while Yusuke turned back to face him.

Akira noticed almost instantly and he stepped closer to Yusuke, gently tangling one hand in his hair and the other on his cheek, bringing their faces closer together until their lips met. Yusuke’s eyes widened briefly as he felt his face start to heat up and his heart beat faster as Akira kissed him hungrily, briefly separating before moving their lips together against each other’s once, twice, three times more. Akira gently ran his tongue along Yusuke’s bottom lip, begging to be let in, and Yusuke complied, opening his mouth to allow Akira more access while he felt Akira gently guide him into the bedroom, where Yusuke felt himself be gently pushed onto the bed before Akira crawled on top of him, straddling his waist and putting his hands on Yusuke’s shoulder and chest as he continued kissing him, teasingly flicking his tongue against Yusuke’s. Yusuke let out a soft, muffled moan as he felt Akira’s hands gently run all over his body, slipping his hands under his shirt and placing them on his skin as he did so.

 Yusuke briefly separated from the kiss so he could catch his breath, gently holding Akira’s waist and looking up at Akira’s flushed-looking face as he did so. “Please show me how to do this.” He whispered quietly.

“I will.” Akira said, nodding before he went back to kissing Yusuke as he felt Akira gently start undoing the buttons on his shirt.

Yusuke blushed a deep pink as he felt Akira’s hands gently remove the article of clothing off of his body before he leaned in and started trailing kisses all along his chin, his jaw, all the way down his neck until he was at the base of it. Akira pressed one more kiss to the base of Yusuke’s neck before he gently started sucking on it.

Yusuke gasped at the sudden foreign stimulation on his sensitive neck, before he moved his hands up to tangle them in Akira’s hair, tightening his grip on the black, silky strands as he did so.

“P-please.” Yusuke pleaded. “More. I want more.”

Akira gently moved a hand to Yusuke’s nipple and let his thumb brush over it as he moved his mouth to one of Yusuke’s collarbones and sucked at the pale skin there.

Yusuke moaned low at the contact on his sensitive skin as he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled tighter on Akira’s hair. He loosened his grip when Akira started trailing kisses from his collarbone down to his other nipple. Yusuke let out an even louder moan when Akira gently took his hardened nipple between his teeth before he gently started licking and sucking at it.

Yusuke could feel his pants start to become uncomfortably tight as Akira kept sucking on his nipple, which was only further increased when he felt Akira reach his hand down toward Yusuke’s hip, gripping it and gently rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb. Yusuke felt Akira move his hands lower to his groin before he gently started stroking at the bulge in his pants.

“A-Akira…” Yusuke moaned. “I… w-want you.” He begged.

Yusuke moaned louder at the stimulation, letting out a loud gasp as Akira rubbed harder against it.

Right when Yusuke thought he couldn’t take it any longer, Akira stopped his movements and started trailing kisses all the way down his sternum and to his stomach until he was just above the waistband of his pants before he stopped and looked up at Yusuke.

“Do you want me to continue?” Akira asked.

Yusuke nodded, blushing deeply upon seeing Akira’s flushed face and mussed-up hair between his legs.

Wordlessly, Akira unzipped Yusuke’s pants and pushed aside the waistband of his underwear, freeing his length from the confines of the fabric before he gently wrapped his hand around it and teasingly ran his hand up and down the length of his member.

Yusuke harshly sucked in his breath at the teasing and stifled a moan as he felt Akira lower his mouth to his member and started to lick all around the sides and veins of it, never once breaking eye contact with Yusuke as he did so.

Yusuke could barely stifle another moan as Akira gently licked the tip of his member and started swirling his tongue along the tip before he finally wrapped his mouth around it and slowly slid the rest of Yusuke’s member into his mouth until it was touching the back of his throat.

Yusuke whined at the foreign, wet, warm sensation surrounding his length as Akira gently started to bob his head up and down. He whined even louder when he felt Akira gently wrap his hand around the base of his member and started gently twisting his hand up and down. Yusuke reached his hands down and tangled his hands through Akira’s hair. He felt so turned on from everything he was feeling, he could honestly feel himself so overwhelmingly close to his orgasm.

“A-Akira…” Yusuke whimpered. “I’m s-so close… I’m—”

He came with a loud moan, spilling himself into Akira’s mouth.

Akira stopped moving his head and then Yusuke felt him remove his mouth from his member before he moved to kiss him again, letting him taste himself on his tongue as Yusuke feverishly kissed him back.

 Akira moved a hand down to rest on his ass as Yusuke fumbled his hands over Akira’s clothes, quickly undoing the buttons of Akira’s shirt before he gently removed the article of clothing and let Akira separate to take off Yusuke’s pants before he moved to take off his own pants.

Akira moved to the bedside table and opened the drawer, reaching in until he pulled out a small tinfoil packet and a bottle of lube before closing the drawer and turned back to face Yusuke.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Akira asked gently.

Yusuke’s heart pounded in excitement and nervousness as he nodded. “Please.” He begged. “I want this. I want you.”

Akira nodded before he took the condom packet and tore it open with his teeth before he rolled its contents onto his member. He then took the bottle of lube and gently squeezed some onto his middle and index finger.

Akira then gently pushed Yusuke’s legs apart before he moved closer into the space. He leaned over to Yusuke to press a kiss to his lips before he moved his wet fingers to Yusuke’s entrance before gently pushing his fingers in.

Yusuke hissed in discomfort at the foreign feeling of the cold lube and Akira’s fingers inside of him, but those feelings of discomfort soon melted away into feelings of immense pleasure as Akira kept twisting his fingers inside of him.

“Akira… Please….” Yusuke groaned as he felt the buildup of pleasure start to get too much. “Please just put it in me.”

Akira laughed. “You’re getting pretty impatient aren’t you?” He teased.

Yusuke pouted indignantly. “I just want to do this with you with what rapidly dwindling time we have.” He said. “We don’t have forever, you know.”

“I know.” Akira said as he leaned in to press a kiss to Yusuke’s lips. “All the preparation was done anyway.” He said reassuringly as he spread Yusuke’s legs wider. “Are you ready?” He asked as Yusuke felt Akira press the tip of his member against his entrance.

Yusuke nodded before he felt Akira slowly ease his way in as Akira gently placed a hand on his leg to wrap around his waist while he tangled his other hand into Yusuke’s hair.

Yusuke gasped and clutched at the bedsheets as he felt Akira enter him.

Akira stopped and gave a look of concern to Yusuke.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. “Did I hurt you?”

Yusuke shook his head before he gently wrapped his other leg around Akira’s waist as well. “I’ll be alright.” He promised. “I’m just not used to this, so right now it’s just a little bit uncomfortable, but I promise, I’ll be okay.” He reassured as he reached his hands up to tangle his fingers through Akira’s hair and bring their faces closer together. “Please keep going.” He urged.

Akira nodded before he started gently moving his hips in a slow, steady rhythm, thrusting into Yusuke and closing his eyes in pleasure as he did so.

The feeling of Akira’s member inside of him prompted Yusuke to let out a loud moan. It felt so good, he couldn’t focus on anything else that was setting the beautiful scene, be it the sound of the creaking of the bedsprings or of the waves crashing on the shore outside, or the gentle, but bright glow of the moonlight that streamed in through the window, or the soft fabric of the bedsheets against his back. All he could focus on was the beautiful person in front of him and inside him.

“K-keep going.” Yusuke whimpered. “You feel so good. I want more. Move faster.” He demanded, moaning once more as Akira’s member kept moving inside of him.

“Y-Yusuke… you feel... so good…” Akira moaned as he gradually increased his speed and started thrusting deeper into Yusuke. “I can feel you sucking me in.

Almost instantly, Yusuke felt Akira’s member hit his sweet spot. Yusuke started to feel his legs start to tremble as his vision and mind started to get hazy in response to the immense amount of pleasure he was feeling.

“A-Akira… Akira right there… ahHH!” Yusuke moaned louder in response to feeling his sensitive spot be hit once more.

“G-God Yusuke you’re so tight…” Akira groaned, tightening his grip in Yusuke’s hair. “It feels so good. You feel… so good.” He reached his hand and gently wrapped it around Yusuke’s swollen member, which prompted a loud whine from the blue-haired boy before he started pumping his hand along it.

“P-please keep going…” Yusuke begged. “Don’t stop…” He pleaded as he felt tears start to form at the corners of his eyes as he felt his orgasm close. “I think I’m going to come.”

“Hang on for a little longer.” Akira pleaded as he tried to keep his movements steady, gripping Yusuke’s hair tighter. “I want us to come together.”

Yusuke tried to focus on delaying his orgasm in any way he could, gritting his teeth and stifling his hitched breaths and moans while Akira kept moving inside of him, but soon, the pleasure was too much for him.

“Akira I’m sorry, I’m… aaAAH!” Yusuke came with a loud cry as he came, throwing his head back and arching his back as he spilled himself all over his stomach and chest as he did so while he felt his legs tremble uncontrollably.

Akira’s thrusts slowed down when Yusuke came, but he soon came with a loud shudder and moan just minutes after.

Akira gently removed himself from Yusuke and flopped down next to him on the bed to catch his breath before he got up once more to go get a towel. He disappeared into the next room and reappeared with a white towel in hand and walked back to the bed. He leaned over and Yusuke then felt the soft fabric of the towel being gently rubbed over his stomach and chest. Yusuke felt his heart flutter at the gentle act of affection before Akira removed the towel and threw it on the ground. He then climbed into bed and drew the covers around them as Yusuke moved closer and wrapped his arm around Akira’s waist.

They laid there in a comforting silence, basking in the warmth of each other’s afterglow before eventually, Yusuke broke the silence.

“I’m sorry.” Yusuke apologized.

“For what?” Akira asked in confusion.

“You wanted us to come together, yet, I couldn’t last very long.” Yusuke explained, looking away in shame.

“Hey, that’s alright.” Akira said as he rolled over to face Yusuke. “This felt really good. I hadn’t felt like wanting to come so fast in such a long time.” He said before he paused. “So… you’ve never slept with another man before?” He asked, changing the subject. “That’s not a critique, I should add. This felt really amazing!”

Yusuke shook his head, blushing at Akira’s words. “No. I’ve never slept with a man.” He admitted. “I’ve never slept with…. Anyone, actually.” He added. “Congratulations,” He said. “You’ve deflowered me.”

Akira stopped before he burst out laughing.

“What?” Yusuke asked in confusion. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just… Deflowered?” Akira asked as he tried not to start laughing again. “I’ve never heard anybody say that before except for in old movies and stuff like that. You’re like an old man sometimes.” He teased.

Yusuke pouted, only to have Akira quickly give him a peck on the lips to show no ill will before he slowly pulled away and gently smiled, letting the comforting silence fall over them before Akira broke it.

“You’ve had relationships before though.” He said, his statement sounding more like a thinly-veiled question than anything else.

Yusuke shook his head. “No.” He answered. “No, I haven’t.” He admitted.

“Ummm… hello? I’m pretty sure you told me you have a fiancée.” Akira pointed out.

“It’s… complicated.” Yusuke sighed, looking up towards the ceiling.

“Yeah, it sure sounds like it.” Akira commented.

“So… when did you know that you liked men?” Yusuke asked bluntly, changing the subject.

“That’s pretty direct.” Akira chuckled. “I like women too, you know.” He pointed out. “It’d be pretty unfair if only one gender could have me. Gotta give equal opportunities to everyone.” He joked.

“Okay.” Yusuke snorted, stifling a laugh at Akira’s comment. “But… when did you know? Did you always know?” He asked.

“I was… married to a woman.” Akira admitted. His voice started to take on a slightly sadder tone. “I was married for a long time.” He continued. “But I always knew. I mean, I’d be attracted to other guys, like my co-workers, or friends, or some waiters that served me. They were crushes.” He explained. “They were all crushes.” He said once more, his voice even sadder. “But I never acted on any of them. I was really in love with her. But then she decided not to stick around…” He trailed off, seemingly too sad to continue talking.

Yusuke reached his hand to cradle Akira’s cheek in comfort as he moved closer. “I’m sorry.” He whispered quietly. “I shouldn’t have asked. It seems to have made you sad.” He continued, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Akira’s forehead. “I don’t want you to be sad.” He said.

Akira shook his head as he cracked a slight smile. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize.” He said reassuringly. “At least now you know my tragic backstory.” He joked before he took a deep, almost resigned-sounding breath. “But yeah, now it’s just me passing through, just here to have a good time before I leave.”

A silence fell over the pair. Yusuke sat up and reached for the pile of his clothes on the ground until he found his bag, pulling out his sketchbook and a pencil as he did before he turned to Akira and started drawing. 

"What are you doing?" Akira asked curiously. 

"I'm... Drawing you." Yusuke said as he sketched out the gentle curve of Akira's lips on the paper. 

"Why though?" Akira asked as he propped himself up on his elbow.

"I just want to capture a beautiful moment with a beautiful person." Yusuke admitted as he shaded in Akira's hair in the picture.

“Our time is nearly up.” Akira pointed out, blushing at Yusuke's comment. “We’ve only got fifteen minutes until midnight.” He added. "Let's just lie here together." He whispered. "Please?"

Yusule nodded, quickly finishing his drawing before he laid back down again. Akira pulled the blankets tighter around the both of them before he snuggled closer to Yusuke, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s figure and burying his face in Yusuke’s shoulder. Yusuke moved a hand into Akira’s soft hair, pulling him closer and feeling the comforting warmth of Akira’s skin on his own before eventually, the clock struck midnight and Yusuke’s world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this, I’ve been so tired after coming back from the convention last weekend (plus had to deal with some school stuff and health stuff) as well as the fact that I got accepted into the cosplay chess panel for a big convention I’m going to so I’ve been preparing for that but here is the latest chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

The next week, Yusuke found himself walking back to Club Newcomer like he had done the week before and the one before that. He realized that after the events of the previous week, braving the draining noise and lights of the club was completely worth it if it meant he could see the beautiful person who had held him so gently that night.

And so, as he stepped into the club, Yusuke was greeted with the haze, glitter, heat, and booming bass that although still jarring and draining, was starting to become so familiar to him. He scanned the crowd to look for any sign of the black-haired boy, but he found none. He walked past the arcade, looking inside to see if Akira was there, but all he saw was Futaba.

“Hey!” she said, looking up from her game. “Here to join me for a rematch?” She asked.

Yusuke shook his head. “Not yet.” He said. “I’m looking for somebody.”

“Awww.” Futaba said, frowning disappointedly. “I understand.” She continued. “Good luck in your search! You owe me a rematch the next time I see you!” She said before she turned back to her game.

Yusuke nodded before he turned and walked back out into the club and across to where the booths were, searching that area only to find no sign of Akira, inwardly cursing himself for forgetting to ask Akira for his number when he had the chance.

In desperation, Yusuke turned and walked to the bar, hoping to get some answers.  

“Excuse me.” He said, stepping to the counter and catching the bartender’s attention.

“How can I help you?” They said as they put down the glass they were holding.

“Have you seen Akira?” Yusuke asked.

“Say that again?” They asked, leaning so they could hear Yusuke over the noise of the club.

“Akira?” Yusuke said again. “Akira Kurusu? He’s got black hair, glasses, often wears jeans and a white button-up over a black T-shirt or a black jacket over a white hoodie?” He continued, hoping his more specific description would jog the bartender’s memory.

“Oh, him!” The bartender said, making the connection. “No, I haven’t seen him at all tonight. Have you checked the Velvet room Lounge?” They asked. “He’s a VIP member here so he gets access to the lounge.”

Yusuke shook his head. “No, What is that?” He asked. “Where can I find it?”

The bartender just wordlessly pointed at a Blue door a on the opposite end of the bar, where a sign reading “The Velvet Room” could be seen.

Yusuke looked in the direction of where the bartender was pointing, all the while wondering how come he had never noticed the lounge before.

He turned back to the bartender and nodded. “Thank you!” He said graciously before he turned and started walking in the direction of the lounge.

As Yusuke walked past the crowds toward the lounge. As he got closer, he saw that the door was guarded by two twin security guards with light blonde hair who couldn’t have been any older than 14, by the looks of it. They currently were talking with a man in his mid-twenties with a silver-haired bowlcut before they opened the door and let him in, allowing Yusuke to get a peek of what looked like a blue-lit and blue-velvet upholstered, art deco-style room with a bar, which was tended to by a blonde-haired woman with curly hair and another woman with a chin-length bob and a man with short hair of the same color.

Stepping in front of the guards, he cleared his throat. Both girls turned their heads at the same time to look at him and fixed their golden eyes on him.

“Hello.” He said politely. “I know I am not a VIP member, but I was wondering if it was alright if I go in.” He paused. “I’m looking for somebody.” He added, hoping that that would make his case more appealing to the guards.

The girl with bun-hair scowled and started reaching for her nightstick before the girl with braided hair reached her hand out and placed it on the other girl’s wrist, stopping her before she could do anything.

“Caroline, we’ve talked about not hitting people.” She said calmly.

“Justine, you’re such a killjoy.” Caroline said, huffing as she crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face away from her sister.

“Anyway.” Justine said, scribbling something in her clipboard before looking back at Yusuke. “We aren’t allowed to let people who aren’t guests in. At least not without the express permission and/or accompaniment of someone on the guest list.” She explained.  “It’s on the orders of our master, the proprietor of this establishment.” She explained.

“Just who exactly are you looking for?” Caroline said as she turned back to face Yusuke and narrowed her eyes.

“Akira.” Yusuke answered. “Akira Kurusu. He has black hair, glasses, and—”

“We know who you’re talking about.” Caroline interrupted. “He didn’t come by.”

“Oh.” Yusuke said disappointedly. “Well, is there any way you could let me know if he does?” He asked hopefully.

“Take a hint!” Caroline snapped aggressively as she drew her nightstick and brandished it. “We don’t want you here! Get out before I hit you!” She shouted.

Yusuke quickly put his hands up in surrender before he nodded. “I was just about to leave.” He said. “Thank you for your help.” And with that, he turned and quickly walked away, back to the direction of the bar.

As Yusuke sat down at a barstool, he noticed someone else sit down next to him. He turned and saw Futaba hop up onto the raised barstool.

“Hey.” She said as she waved to the bartender before she turned to Yusuke. “So you had a run-in with the twins, I take it?” She said, smirking amusedly.

“You saw that?” Yusuke said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“Yeah.” Futaba replied before she quickly slid some money across the counter to the bartender and placed her drink order before turning back to Yusuke. “It’s fine, they’re aggressive to just about anybody.” She said reassuringly. “But so you’re looking for Akira right?” She asked.

Yusuke nodded. “Have you seen him?” He asked, a feeling of hope rising in his chest.

Futaba shook her head. “Not today I haven’t since he didn’t come in to challenge me to my two-player arcade game like he usually does.” She said. “But if he’s not here he might have swung by my dad’s café or gone to Shujin.” She added. “I guess is should mention this, but my name is Futaba, my Dad is Sojiro, he runs Café LeBlanc.” She added.

“I know who you are.” Yusuke said. “I actually went with Akira to Café LeBlanc a couple weeks ago and Sojiro asked me if I had seen you.” He paused. “What’s ‘Shujin?’” He asked.

“Man, you must REALLY be new.” Futaba said. “If you don’t know what Shujin is by now, then you really don’t want to know.” She continued as the bartender brought her order to her and she took the glass and sipped from it.

“Well, I need to find Akira, so I think I do need to know.” Yusuke said urgently.

“Well dang, hang on, let me write down the address for you, Mr. Desperate.” Futaba teased as she took a napkin and a pen and started writing down the address before handing it to Yusuke.

“Thank you, Futaba!” Yusuke said graciously as he took the napkin and got off the barstool and quickly headed out of the club and into the streets.

~~~~~

Yusuke’s visit to the café was short, although pleasant. He had walked inside and made small talk with Sojiro, who once again, asked about Futaba’s whereabouts before Yusuke asked about Akira’s. Sojiro had ended up telling Yusuke that he hadn’t seen Akira, only dropping a hint about where Shujin was and all the while grumbling about how bad of a place Shujin is before Yusuke ended up bidding the man good-bye before leaving.

As Yusuke stepped outside the café, he looked around for a means of transportation before he found a bike rack full of bicycles of various shapes, sizes, and colors with a sign in front of it reading “FREE TO USE.” Walking over, Yusuke took a black bicycle out of the rack before he got on and started pedaling in the direction of Shujin.

After a while of pedaling, Yusuke finally found himself moving along the dark stretch of highway toward a large, semi-lit industrial-looking building.

As he continued along the road, a flatbed truck zoomed past in his direction, blaring loud rock music while a couple people stood in the back and loudly shouted as they drank from beer bottles. Yusuke flinched at the loud noise and the blinding flash of light from the car’s headlights before he refocused on the road in front of him.

As he pulled up to the building, Yusuke realized Shujin was an abandoned warehouse that looked like it had been repurposed as some kind of rock club of some sort, judging from the loud shredding of guitars and drum riffs coming from inside of it. Yusuke got off his bike before he locked it to the chain-link fence that surrounded the building, hoping and praying that it wouldn’t get stolen what with the shady-looking location the building was in.

Taking a deep breath, Yusuke walked in past the doors of the building and into the fray.

Almost immediately, the loud, cacophonous clashing of drums, shouts, and guitar riffs nearly almost assaulted Yusuke’s eardrums as he got used to the music as he looked around. He could already feel his energy being used up from how much he was putting into not entering a sensory overload.

As opposed to the glitter and neon of Club Newcomer, Shujin was all hard edges, smoke, leather, and spikes. Throngs of leather-clad people with piercings and tattoos all drinking and smoking lined the hallways and filled side rooms, where cages where people fought and smashed bottles could be seen.

The longer Yusuke walked through the crowds, the more he felt out of place, with his tunic-like shirt and slacks, all the while feeling like he was about to shut down from his sensory overload. Still, he pushed through, occasionally asking the least intimidating-looking people he could find if they had seen Akira, only to have his questions be answered with either shaken heads or “No” or “Try asking somewhere else.”

Eventually though, his search turned up answers when he bumped into a familiar face.

“You’re looking for Akira, right?” Yuki said when Yusuke turned around, only to come face-to-face with him.

“You! You’re…” Yusuke began as he suddenly recognized him.

“Yuki? The guy from a couple weeks ago that Akira left after a one-night stand?” Yuki said, finishing Yusuke’s thought. “Yeah that’s me.” He continued, looking downtrodden as he did so.

“I’m sorry.” Yusuke said sympathetically in response to Yuki’s statement.

“So I take it he ditched you too?” Yuki asked. He paused.

“I’m trying not to think about that possibility.” Yusuke said as he felt the slightest bit of dread creep into his heart as he thought about it. “Do you know where I can find him?” He asked.

Before Yuki could say anything, a boy with short blonde hair and a girl with long blonde hair tied into pigtails showed up out of the crowd and approached Yuki.

“Hey! We’ve been looking all over for you Yuki!” The boy said as he gently thumped Yuki’s back in a show of friendly affection. “We thought we lost you this week for sure!”

“Who is this?” The girl asked as she gestured to Yusuke.

“Oh! I’m Yusuke. Yusuke Kitagawa.” Yusuke said, introducing himself as he stuck his hand out for a handshake.

The girl smiled and took his hand, shaking it warmly. “I’m Ann.” She said. “And this is Ryuji and I suppose you already know Yuki.” She said as she gestured to the other boy and to Yuki.

“He’s looking for Akira.” Yuki said to Ann.

“Have you seen him anywhere?” Yusuke asked hopefully.

Ann shook her head. “No.” She answered.

“Akira hangs out with us all the time.” Ryuji added. “But we haven’t seen him at all this week.”

“Oh…” Yusuke said disappointedly.

“If he’s worth it though, you should definitely go look for him.” Ann said. “I’ve seen him show up in other time periods as well, like the 2000’s, the 90’s… I’ve even seen him show up in the 80’s once.” She added.

“Here,” Ryuji said, pulling out his phone and handing it to Yusuke. “Enter your number. If Akira comes by tonight, We’ll let you know.”

Yusuke took the phone and entered his contact information before handing it back to Ryuji. “Thank you!” He said appreciatively.

“No problem!” Ryuji said as he grinned, showing off his sharpened teeth as he did.

Yusuke was starting to feel a little dizzy from all the loud noises and heat in the club. Any minute longer inside the loud, chaotic atmosphere could cause certain catastrophe in the form of a sensory overload breakdown. “I need to go now.” He said. “But you guys have been a huge help.”

“You’ve only got two hours until midnight, so good luck!” Ann said. “I hope you find him!”

Yusuke nodded before he waved and turned around to leave.

When Yusuke stepped outside, he found his bike exactly where he had left it, much to his relief. Unlocking it, he hopped on before he started pedaling away from Shujin and toward the direction of Akira’s beach house.

~~~~~

When Yusuke reached Akira’s beach house, the first thing he noticed was how all of the lights were out. Still, that did not deter him from parking his bike and climbing the front steps before he rang the doorbell.

“Akira?” Yusuke asked as he knocked on the glass window of the door. “Akira, are you there?”

There was no answer. Yusuke walked around to a couple windows and even the back door and tried knocking, only to get an almost-deafening seeming lack of response.

Stepping off the porch Yusuke pulled out his cell phone, checking the screen’s display for the time. “10:50” The display read. Sighing disappointedly, Yusuke walked a couple steps out onto the beach before he sat down and watched the ocean, pulling his sketchbook out of his bag and briefly sketching the sight of the ocean and the city in the distance before he eventually got up, took his bike and made his way back to Club Newcomer to make good on his promise to play that arcade match with Futaba, knowing he had nothing better to do for the rest of the night.

~~~~~

Before Yusuke had first arrived on Kosei Island, it had been recommended to him to try visiting the different eras of the island, especially those that he didn’t have much recollection of or even was alive for. However, to experience something earlier than the 2010’s was something that Yusuke could only begin to find words to describe. Despite not being able to remember much of it due to the fact that he was a very young child during the time period, Yusuke could certainly appreciate the 2000’s if for the purpose of noticing how different, and yet how similar it was to the 2010’s, in terms of music, fashion, and aesthetics.

As Yusuke walked the streets of Kosei City in 2005, he couldn’t help but notice the trends in people’s fashion choices, from tattoo-print graphic tees and distressed bootcut jeans and questionably-cut tank tops and baby doll tops to crimped hair, dyed streaks, and swooped bangs. Looking at his reflection in a nearby storefront window, he himself wore a skinny jeans and blue short-sleeved button-up outfit combination, along with a puka shell necklace that he thought looked nice enough to wear.

As Yusuke made his way to Club Newcomer, a pack of boys wearing oversized sports jerseys and large, chunky DC sneakers and gold chains cracked open beers outside a storefront while hip-hop music blared from their boombox.

The noise got a little more cacophonous as a girl rolled down the street on her skateboard, sporting pink streaks in her black hair and wearing an equally pink-and-black skull-and-kitten-print zip-up hoodie and red plaid skirt, the loud guitars, drumbeats, and angsty-sounding vocals playing from her Linkin Park CD were loud enough to be heard through her large, clunky headphones even from where Yusuke was standing several feet away.

This was most certainly not a time period he was used to, he mused as he finally reached the front doors of Club Newcomer, but at least if he could commit this all to memory, he could draw it later. Taking a deep breath and bracing himself, he pushed the doors open and made his way through.

There was considerably less haze in the club than how it was in the 2010’s, but what it lacked in special effects fog, it made up for in extra glitter and strobe lights, making the club seem like it was ten times more overkill than he had been getting used to in the 2010’s. In the corner, the DJ switched out some records and scratched at the ones on the turntables.

_“I just can't get you out of my head_  
_Boy, your lovin' is all I think about_  
_I just can't get you out of my head_  
_Boy, it’s more than I dare to think about”_

The bright, upbeat, catchy music blared from the speakers as Yusuke pushed through a group of dancing girls with bleached, crimped hair wearing crop tops and low-rise jeans as he scanned the crowd for any sign of Akira, only to find none. Disappointed, he stepped out and went over to the booths, only to find no sign of Akira.

He went back to the entrance of the Velvet Room, only to be aggressively chased out like he had been the previous week. Sighing, he made his way over to the arcade, where he found Futaba challenging Ann to a match on Dance Dance Revolution, thankful to at least be out of the overwhelming sensory overload-causing chaos of the club.

Neither of the girls seemed to notice him as they rapidly stepped on the light-up pads in time to the dance music to match the flashing arrows on the screen.

“You can’t deny it this time, I’m in the lead!” Ann bragged playfully as she tapped out a certain move combo.

“Like Hell am I going to give you the satisfaction of hearing me say it though!” Futaba said as she tried to keep up but did a couple missteps.

“7-STEP MOVE COMBO!” The game’s announcer blared from the speakers. “PLAYER ONE WINS!”

“Heck yeah!” Ann cheered, jumping up and pumping the air triumphantly before she pulled her low-rise jeans up. “Good game though!”

“It was fun!” Futaba said as she stepped off the board. “But I’ll win next time!” She turned and found herself looking at Yusuke.

“Hey!” She said, grinning. “Here to try another round on Star Forneus?” She asked.

Yusuke shook his head. “Not yet. I need to do something first, but when I have the time I promise I’ll come back for another rematch.”

“Are you still looking for Akira?” Ann asked as she whipped out her pink flip phone and started pressing some buttons.

Yusuke nodded. “I am.” He said. “That was what I was going to ask about.” He said. “Have you seen Akira at all today?”

Ann shook her head. “No, I haven’t.” She admitted. “I just texted Ryuji asking if he’s seen Akira since he’s over at Shujin right now. Yuki decided to go to 2010 this week so I won’t be able to hear from him.” She explained.

“Has Ryuji said anything?” Yusuke asked, perking up in hope. “Has he seen him?”

Ann shook her head and looked back at her phone, which lit up with an incoming message. “Ryuji just replied and apparently he hasn’t seen Akira, but he hasn’t been at Shujin for very long so far.”

“Oh…” Yusuke said disappointedly.

“I’d say that you should go over to check it out anyway in case he does show up.” Ann suggested. “Ryuji gave me your number so in case I see Akira I’ll text you.” She added.

“Thank you!” Yusuke said. “I think I’ll head over right now.” He added as he before he walked out of the club.

~~~~~

Yusuke’s visit to Shujin proved to be short and unfruitful, as was his visit to Akira’s beach house.

As Yusuke pedaled his bike along the highway back into the city and back in the direction of the nightclub, he couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened. Why did Akira leave? Was he not good enough for him? Where could he even have gone? Couldn’t he at least tell him why he was going to leave? Did he do something wrong?

As Yusuke pulled up in front of the club and locked his bike into a nearby bike rack, he kept pondering those questions until he found himself back in the arcade.

“I’m back!” He announced to Futaba, who was busy moving some controls of the Star Forneus machine.

“Oh hey!” She said as she exited her game. “Did you find Akira?”

Yusuke shook his head. “No.” He said sadly. “I just spent four hours looking for him and I couldn’t find him.”

“Dang.” Futaba said. “Maybe he went to a different time period?” She suggested.

Yusuke sighed. “Maybe he did.” He said disappointedly. He looked at his watch. “But I still have another hour left to spend so if you want, we can do that rematch.” He suggested.

“That sounds great!” Futaba said as she inserted a couple coins into the machine and stepped aside to make room for Yusuke. The music started up and soon, Yusuke and Futaba were playing the game like they had been the previous times they tried.

Yusuke got so wrapped up in the gameplay that he lost track of time until his flow of concentration got broken once he hit the seventh level and his player got struck by an asteroid.

“GAME OVER!” The screen started blinking.

“Damn! And we were three levels away from winning the game!” Futaba said as she exited the game. “Good game though.” She added. “Want to try again?”

“Sure.” He said, looking at his watch, reading “11:45” on the display. He looked up, and saw someone familiar out of the corner of his eye. Yusuke turned to get a better look, and there, in the crowd, was Akira. He was wearing a black V-neck tee layered under a white hoodie and wearing red skinny jeans and had his hair straightened into a swooped bowlcut and his glasses were bigger and more squared than they were in the 2010’s, but it was unmistakably him, Yusuke could recognize that face anywhere.

Akira made brief eye contact with Yusuke from his spot in the crowd before he turned and was engulfed by the throng of dancing people.

“On second thought.” Yusuke said, turning to Futaba. “That may have to wait for another time.”

And with that, he ran into the crowd, desperately searching for the black-haired boy and finding him absolutely nowhere to be seen.

Yusuke ran out to the booths, only to find his search turn up empty. He then ran outside and into the streets, searching for any sign of the boy. Further down the road, Yusuke saw him walking.

“Akira! Wait!” Yusuke shouted as he ran after him.

Akira turned around to look at him before he started walking faster.

“I said wait!” Yusuke shouted as he picked up the pace of his footsteps. He blinked, and suddenly, Akira was gone.

Yusuke blinked, and continued running to the spot where he had last seen Akira, only to find no sign of the black-haired boy, as if he had just disappeared without a trace. Disappointed, He stopped in his tracks and sat down where he was on the sidewalk in and hugged his knees to his chest in sadness and exhaustion, before he eventually took out his sketchbook and briefly drew out everything he had seen for the last five hours before his time eventually ran out.

~~~~~

On his third week after Akira disappeared on him, Yusuke finally found him.

After the previous week’s trip to the 80’s, in which Yusuke didn’t want to remember any of it, if for the sheer fact that he thought the fashion and hair choices of the decade were ATROCIOUS, Yusuke was RELIEVED to be in 1997. And while Yusuke was glad that the decade allowed him some room to safely experiment with androgynous styles, he was also secretly glad that he hadn’t found Akira during that time period. Yusuke wasn’t sure he would have been able to handle the amount of embarrassment if Akira had seen the questionable sense of aesthetics he had demonstrated in his outfit choice of blue ruffled blouse, tight leather pants, an earring on one ear and his hair grown out to his shoulders. In hindsight, Yusuke figured that although he enjoyed having long hair, it would have been even better if he had gone to the 60’s or 70’s to try that, especially if he had wanted to braid it.

Still, As Yusuke stood in the middle of the sidewalk in front of Club Newcomer, he was glad that the 90’s were a little less outrageous in terms of fashion choices. As Yusuke looked in his reflection in a storefront window, he took in the image of his hair, which had been reverted back to its usual style, and his outfit choice of faded jeans and a blue untucked button-up shirt with little fox faces printed all over it. He had heard that printed patterned shirts were one of the less outrageous fashions of the decade and decided to go with a design that was somewhat appealing.

As he turned back to the club, Yusuke walked in through the doors, pushing past until he was inside. The club in 1997 still had some of the extra neon from the 80’s, but the disco ball and lava lamp decorations had been replaced by blinking circular multi-color lights and the floor had been tiled in a black-and-white checkerboard pattern. In the corner, the DJ continued to play the music.

 _“She's into new sensation_  
_New kicks in the candlelight_  
_She's got a new addiction_  
_For every day and night”_

The crowds of people were dancing to the upbeat music as always, and so far, Yusuke hadn’t seen Akira when he did his search. Almost out of habit now, he headed to the arcade to go find Futaba.

Yusuke found Futaba exactly where he last saw her the previous week, leaning against the Star Forneus machine, the distinctive 8-bit sound of the Pokemon battle theme coming from the device as she aggressively tapped on the buttons of her Gameboy console.

“Hey!” She said, briefly looking up to acknowledge Yusuke’s presence before she did a once-over of his outfit. “Nice shirt.” She commented humorously, smirking as she did so. “Maybe I should call you ‘Inari’ From now on.” She teased. 

Yusuke snorted, trying not to laugh at Futaba’s quip before she continued talking.

“Any luck finding Akira tonight?” She asked.

Yusuke shook his head. “I’m thinking maybe I should try something different and spend an hour here at the club before I go check Shujin for him.” He said. “Do we want to try a rematch?” He asked.

“Of course!” Futaba said as she abandoned her Gameboy and walked over to the Star Forneus machine and inserted the coins.

Yusuke stepped closer to the machine, and soon, the two got to blasting asteroids together in the virtual world, just like they had done the previous few weeks, crawling through the levels until Yusuke and Futaba were finally facing off the final boss.

“You ready?” Futaba asked as the screen started flashing a countdown in preparation.

“As ready as I will ever be.” Yusuke said enthusiastically before the game launched the both of them into a sequence that required rapid-fire team combos to be executed towards the boss.

Finally, though, Yusuke fired one last shot at the boss, which exploded before the screen started flashing “CONGRATULATIONS” as a sequence involving the two player characters getting knighted as heroes before ascending to god-hood was shown.

“We did it!” Futaba exclaimed happily. “I can’t believe we did it! Holy shit.” She said as tears of happiness started forming at the corners of her eyes.

“I can’t believe it either.” Yusuke said, shaking his head in disbelief as he did so.

“Thank you so much!” She exclaimed.

“That was a lot of fun, Thank you.” Yusuke said as he briefly turned his head and looked around to reorient himself with his surroundings…. And met eyes with a very familiar face ten feet away from him.

Akira stared back at him, his expression akin to that of a deer in the headlights. In that moment, the music started changing into a slower one as the speed of the flashing lights in the club started slowing down and couples started forming and dancing closely in time. The blonde girl with a hairband that Akira was with leaned in to ask him a question, gesturing to the dancefloor before Akira shook his head and started walking towards the restroom.

 _“We were as one babe_  
_For a moment in time_  
_And it seemed everlasting_  
_That you would always be mine…_ ”

The music kept playing as Yusuke stared after Akira in a disbelieving stupor as he realized that after spending weeks looking, he finally found Akira. That moment was short-lived as Yusuke felt Futaba aggressively elbow him in the ribs.

“What are you standing around here for, Inari?” She hissed. “Go after him.”

Yusuke snapped out of his daze. “You don’t need to tell me twice.” He said before he hurried after Akira, pushing his way through the crowd.

“Akira! Wait! Hold on!” Yusuke shouted, running after Akira until he reached him, grabbing him by the wrist before he could run further.

“Let go of me!” Akira shouted.

“No, Not until you tell me what is happening.” Yusuke said.

“Why are you here?” Akira asked harshly, pulling his wrist out of Yusuke’s grasp.

“I was looking for you! I wanted to see you again!” Yusuke said, feeling a bit taken aback by the tone of Akira’s voice. “Where did you go?”

“I like a change of music.” Akira said matter-of-factly.

“How on Earth is this your Era?” Yusuke asked, gesturing to Akira’s outfit, which consisted of a faded denim jacket over a baggy red plaid shirt layered over a white t-shirt and over faded denim jeans and to his hair, which, although still curly, had been grown down to his chin.

“Okay but I can ask you the same thing.” Akira said, very clearly avoiding the bigger issue at hand as he gestured to Yusuke. “No offense, but you look kind of uncomfortable in that print shirt.”

“Don’t change the subject!” Yusuke said angrily. “Why did you hide from me?”

“Okay I thought you were smart enough for me to not have to say this.” Akira said, sighing exasperatedly. “But one, I didn’t hide from you, I merely tried running to keep my space. Two, I don’t have to owe you anything, and three, see point number two.” He said before he headed into the restroom.

Yusuke angrily followed after Akira. “This isn’t about who owes who, and you know this!” Yusuke said as he found Akira fixing his clothes in front of the mirror. “This is about manners! You cannot just sleep with someone and try disappearing without so much as a trace or explanation.”

“You don’t know who I am or what this means to me!” Akira said as he turned to Yusuke. “Spending time on Kosei Island means fun.” He continued. “Or at least, it should.” He added. “And this? This is not fun, alright?”

“So you don’t feel bad, is that it?” Yusuke retorted, eliciting a brief look of pain and guilt to pass over Akira’s face before it was replaced once more with a hardened expression. “Maybe you should feel bad, or at least feel SOMETHING.” He paused and turned away from Akira as he felt tears starting to prick the corners of his eyes and a painful aching sensation in his heart. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.” He added before he turned and angrily stormed out of the restroom, leaving Akira standing alone in front of the mirror.

In anger and frustration, Akira punched the mirror, causing it to crack as he did. He looked at his knuckles, which were unscratched even though he had shattered the glass. He looked up to the mirror, only to see that the crack had been smoothed over, like as if he had never punched it in the first place.

Sighing, he turned and walked out of the restroom, through the club and outside to go find Yusuke, stepping out the doors and into the fresh night air as he did.

“Hey, Excuse me?” He asked, approaching a couple in a parked nearby open-top convertible. “Have you seen a guy? Around 19 or 20, side-swept blue hair, was wearing a fox-print button-up?”

The woman wordlessly pointed up at the top of the club building, where Akira saw Yusuke sitting at the edge of the ledge of the roof.

“Oh fuck no.” Akira said as he sprinted over to the side of the building, where the fire escape ladders were and started climbing, all the while thanking his young, agile body for being strong enough to let him pull and climb his way up the ladder until he reached the top.

“Hey.” Akira said as he stepped off the last rung of the ladder and onto the roof. “I hope you at least have your pain slider set to ‘Zero.’”

Yusuke nodded, not looking at Akira.

Akira cleared his throat. “Hey look…” He began.

“How many of them do you think are dead?” Yusuke asked, looking down toward the people walking in the streets below him. “Like, what percentage?”

Akira paused, caught off-guard by Yusuke’s question. “Like, as in full-timers?” He asked.

Yusuke nodded before he took out his sketchbook and started absentmindedly drawing what he saw

Akira briefly thought, and then spoke. “I’d say, maybe eighty or eighty-five percent maybe?” He paused before he finished his previous thought. “Hey look, I’m sorry.”

Yusuke shook his head. “I’m not going to jump, so don’t worry about that.” He said.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Akira said as Yusuke finally turned around to face him. “It’s just… The reason why I left… When I first got to Kosei Island, I told myself I wasn’t going to do any… feelings. Just have fun and when my time is up, leave without making any attachments.” He said. “This? Me? I’m scared. I don’t want to like anyone. But when I’m with you, I feel things for you that I haven’t felt for anyone in a really long time, beyond the usual kind of thing I feel on Kosei Island. And it’s just…” He began as he felt the tears start to well up in his eyes and his heart start to ache as he thought more. “I don’t know how much time there is left for me. I wasn’t prepared for you… For wanting something. I—”

Akira’s sentence was suddenly cut off as he felt Yusuke quickly reach and cup his face in his hands and press his lips against his own.

Akira felt the tears in his eyes spill out as he closed his eyes and kissed Yusuke back. Akira felt Yusuke briefly separate before he leaned back in and kissed his eyes and his tear-streaked cheeks.

 “We have right now.” Yusuke whispered gently. “Can we start there?” He suggested.

“My place?” Akira asked as he intertwined his fingers with Yusuke’s.

Yusuke nodded before he hopped down off the ledge and onto the cement of the roof before Akira led him down to his car.

~~~~~

The waves were crashing on the shore as Yusuke slid out of Akira’s bed, grabbing the soft, silky robe at the edge of it before slipping it on and grabbing his sketchbook and pen before making his way outside to the porch, where he sat down on the front step and watched the ocean, and drew what he saw. A minute later, Akira, clad in a matching robe and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, walked out and sat down next to him, gently leaning his head on Yusuke’s shoulder as he did so.

There as a gentle silence between the two as they watched the waves calmly lap at the shore and Yusuke briefly kept looking at Akira as he drew him against the light of the moon. Eventually though, Yusuke broke the silence.

“So I guess, next week it is.” He sighed, looking up at the moon as he put his sketchbook away. “Next week I’m getting married.”

“Next week?” Akira said in shock, turning to look at Yusuke’s face. “To nice Miss Haru?” He said, a hint of a teasing tone creeping into his voice. “Are you sure you’re going through with that?” He asked, playfully nudging Yusuke’s shoulder.

“I have to.” Yusuke said, still not taking his eyes off of the sky.

“You have to?” Akira asked, partly in confusion, partly in disbelief.

“Yes. Yes I do.” Yusuke said, nodding. He paused. “She really is a nice girl.” He said. “Even though I do know she somewhat pities me though. And that does annoy me a little bit.” He instantly caught himself. “But that’s not fair, because she’s—”

Akira shushed him, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple and gently wrapping the other end of the blanket around Yusuke’s shoulders.

“You said you don’t know how much time there is.” Yusuke said, deflecting the topic of conversation away from him. “What exactly does that mean?”

“They tell me three months.” Akira said grimly, pulling the fabric of his robe tighter around himself. “The cancer has basically spread everywhere.” He added. “Then again, the doctors said ‘three months’ six months ago so I don’t really know what exactly to believe because what do they know?” He asked bitterly. “This doesn’t even feel like anything.” He said offhandedly as he rubbed his hands over the fabric of his silk robe.

“But will you stay here after?” Yusuke asked, turning to face Akira.

“Nope.” Akira said resolutely. “When I am gone, I am GONE.” He said, emphasizing the last word.

 “But why though?” Yusuke asked in shock. “That’s insa— I mean, What’s your reason?” He added.

Akira paused, pressing his mouth into a thin line as a pained look entered his eyes before he finally spoke.

“Makoto.” He said.

“Who?” Yusuke asked.

“My wife. Her name was Makoto.” Akira explained as he looked away. “She died just two years ago. We had the opportunity to stay on Kosei Island, but she didn’t take it. She didn’t want to take it. Didn’t even consider visiting for the trial run.”

“Why wouldn’t anyone want to take it?” Yusuke asked in bewilderment.

“I mean, she had her viewpoint.” Akira explained. “There were some things she believed in and others that she didn’t believe in, and this place was one of them.”

“Oh my god.” Yusuke said in shock at all of what he had been told. “I mean, I didn’t know if I wanted to try it either, but looking back, if I hadn’t, I would never had met someone like you.” He said, his voice equal parts affection and appreciation as he cracked a smile.

Akira snorted. “Yeah you could have.” He said humorously.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Yusuke insisted, shaking his head.

“I mean, we probably could have met outside of this.” Akira pointed out.

“No, I don’t think so.” Yusuke said. “You would not have understood me. If we met, like actually met, you probably wouldn’t even have liked me.”

Akira gave him a look of doubt.

“I don’t think you understood what I meant so let me repeat that.” Yusuke said. “You definitely would not have liked me had we met in person.”

“Try meee.” Akira said teasingly, nudging Yusuke’s shoulder.

“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to spend time with me.” Yusuke insisted, a dejected tone taking over his voice. “Before things started to take a turn for the worse, everybody I met at one point or another kept telling me how “strange” and “Weird” I am. And I’m sure you’d be the same. I mean, what’s the point? Where are you anyway? Okinawa? Tatsumi Port Island?”

“Sumaru.” Akira responded. “So come on.” He said eagerly. “I showed you mine, now you gotta show me yours.” He said, smirking at the innuendo he just made.

Yusuke snorted, keeping a small laugh from escaping his mouth before he finally answered. “Tokyo.” He replied.

“That’s no distance at all!” Akira exclaimed.

“Yes it is. Unless I’ve been reading my maps wrong this entire time, You’re on the coast.” Yusuke pointed out.

“With the recent improvements to the rail lines in the last couple of years, I could probably reach you in about an hour.” Akira said.

“Please don’t.” Yusuke said, pulling his robe tighter around him like a security blanket. “I don’t want you to see me.” He explained. He paused. “I’m disgraceful… You won’t like what you’ll find.” He said. “I’m scared… “He whispered quietly.

“And I’m dying.” Akira said gently, smoothing Yusuke’s hair down and pressing a kiss to it. “Whatever you are can’t scare me.” He added. “So let me come visit.”

Yusuke sighed in resignation, although not at all displeased at it. “Okay.” He said, nodding. “Next week?” He asked.

Akira nodded. “It’s a date.” He said.

Yusuke felt Akira wrap his arms around him and pull him close, feeling each other’s warmth as they watched the sky and the ocean until eventually, the clocks hit midnight, and their worlds went dark.

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter has mentions of abuse as well as a depiction of medically-assisted suicide and a bunch of mentions of other medical stuff. If you're sensitive to these kinds of things, please proceed with caution.

The light of the mid-morning sun was streaming in through the window of the hospice room when Akira woke up in his bed the next week, the sound of beeping machines and the humming of his respirator greeting his ears as he resurfaced into consciousness. Blinking his eyes blearily, he reached around on the bedside table, feeling his joints ache with the movement until he made contact with his glasses, grabbing them by the hinges until he slid them onto his face, the pale, sallow wrinkles of the skin of his hand showing up in his peripheral vision as his world came back into focus. Unlike on Kosei Island, here, Akira very much needed those glasses in order to see, and as his eyes refocused, he took in the familiar sight of his bare, sterile living environment.

Pressing a button on a remote next to his bed, Akira slowly inclined his mattress until he was sitting up somewhat more before he pressed another button. Almost immediately, a black-haired young man wearing nurse’s scrubs rushed into the room.

“I hope you have a very good reason for interrupting my coffee break, Kurusu-san.” He said, rubbing his eyes and scowling slightly as he tossed his empty coffee cup into the nearby trash can before he tapped out of his phone app, effectively silencing the sound of the computerized gunshot noises coming from his game.

“Only that today is the day I visit Tokyo.” Akira said, chuckling at the nurse’s disgruntlement. “I’ve only been reminding you about this every day since last week, Shinya-san.”

Shinya’s eyes widened before he looked at the calendar on the wall. “June 13, 2068” The calendar read, with the words “Visit to Tokyo” written in big block writing under the date. “Shit! You’re right!” Shinya exclaimed, smacking the heel of his hand to his forehead. “How could I forget, I even got clearance to go today… Here, let me help you get out of bed.” He said as he rushed over to the other side of the bed and started to help Akira to sit up and then to stand up.

Once Akira was standing on his feet, he grabbed the cane leaning at the edge of his bed and leaned his weight against it.

“Will you need my assistance in helping you change today, or will you be okay?” Shinya asked.

Akira shook his head. “I think I can do that on my own today.” He said. “Thank you though.”

Shinya nodded. “I’ll leave you to it. Just beep me when you’re ready and I can arrange for transportation and grab breakfast for the both of us.”

“Thank you.” Akira said, nodding in acknowledgement. Shinya turned and started walking out of the room before he stopped and turned back around.

“Ham and cheese croissant with drip coffee, right?” Shinya asked in clarification.

“You’re my favorite nurse here, if only because you know my favorite breakfast order.” Akira teased, cracking a smile as he did.

“I am honored to hear this.” Shinya said in a half-joking tone before he turned and walked out as Akira grabbed a change of clothes and started changing.

Once fully dressed, Akira sat down at the edge of his bed to relieve his feet as he rang the buzzer, staring at his reflection in his room’s mirror as he did. A man with messy black hair peppered with a large amount of white and grey streaks stared back at him, the crow’s feet wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and laugh lines and forehead wrinkles on his face becoming very pronounced as he squinted at his reflection through the glare of the sun’s rays streaming in through the window; all in all, a sight that was quite different from what he saw in the mirrors on Kosei Island.

Akira snapped out of his daze as Shinya reappeared, carrying a container with a croissant and a coffee cup in one hand as he pushed a wheelchair with his other hand. Shinya set down the food on Akira’s bedside table before he helped Akira get into the wheelchair. Once Akira was settled, Shinya grabbed the food and handed it to Akira before he took the portable lung respirator and placed it under the wheelchair’s seat and gently started pushing the wheelchair out the door and towards the hospice exit, where a large, sleek-looking van was waiting for them.

The pleasant smell of the gentle, cool sea breeze from the seaside next to the hospice greeted Akira as he and Shinya left the building. The driver of the van, upon seeing them, got out of his seat and went to go help Akira into the van before Shinya folded the wheelchair and sat down next to Akira. The driver got back behind the wheel, turning around to briefly nod at Akira and Shinya before he started up the engine and drove away.

Akira finished off his food on the very short drive to the train station and once there, the driver parked the van and helped Shinya in assisting Akira to get him into the wheelchair before Shinya tipped the driver and started pushing Akira’s wheelchair in the direction of the train station’s gates.

The sleek-looking bullet train pulled into the station just as Akira and Shinya arrived at the platform, and getting to the wheelchair-accessible seats was just a manner of telling the station staff and getting assistance.

As soon as Akira and Shinya had settled into their seats, the train started pulling away from the station. Akira stared out the window at all the scenery passing by, making note of all the changes to the landscape passing by that he hadn’t ventured out into in decades before he eventually felt his eyelids grow heavy, closing them as he felt the soft embrace of sleep.

~~~~~

Akira woke up to the feeling of himself being gently shaken awake by Shinya as the train pulled into the station in Tokyo. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he gently wrapped the blanket in his lap around himself as Shinya undid the locks on his wheelchair and carefully wheeled him off of the train, maneuvering around the platforms and elevators until the two found themselves at the curb. Shinya hailed a cab, which immediately pulled up in front of them before the driver got out and helped Akira get into his seat while Shinya folded the wheelchair and got in next to him.

“Where to?” The driver asked, getting back into the vehicle and adjusting the rearview mirror.

“Keijuen Nursing Home.” Shinya replied before Akira could say anything.

The driver nodded before he pulled away from the curb and into traffic. Akira sank back into his seat as he took in the sights of the hustle and bustle of the city until, in what felt like no time at all, the cab pulled into the drop-off area of the nursing home.

Shinya tipped the driver before he got out and helped Akira out of his seat once more, shaking his head at Shinya as the young man was about to start unfolding his wheelchair before Shinya stopped unfolding it and moved to hold onto his shoulders to support him before he led him past the automatic sliding doors of the building.

As Akira entered the lobby, he took in the sights of the sleek, sterile, and streamlined interior. Bare white walls with computers and check-in kiosks lined the sides as the check-in desk was manned by a couple of young-looking secretaries who were fielding phone calls as Akira made sense of his surroundings. A computer screen-faced and chested robot around the same height as Shinya wheeled in from a nearby corridor and delivered a stack of papers to one of the secretaries before it rolled over to where Akira and Shinya were before its screens lit up with a touchscreen keypad and a digitized visitor’s sign-in form. Akira tapped in his name and contact information in before the screen lit up with a note saying “A nurse has been notified to assist you.”

Akira didn’t have to wait long before a nurse showed up and greeted both him and Shinya before she started guiding the two towards a room.

“He’s waiting for you.” She said, turning to face Akira as she stood outside the room. “But one thing I should make clear right now is that he can see and hear you, but he can’t physically respond in any way.”

“I understand.” Akira said, nodding as he turned to look at the door. He had no idea what Yusuke had meant when he had said that he was scared for Akira to see him, but he had come prepared for just about anything and he was almost starting to get impatient just waiting. He wanted to see Yusuke already.

The nurse nodded. “In that case, I’ll leave to give you some privacy.” She said before she stepped away.

Shinya moved to open the door for Akira. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.” He said.

As Akira stepped into the sterile, white-walled room, he saw Yusuke lying still on his bed. He looked to be in his sixties; his hair, although still blue (with a few grey streaks), was noticeably longer and grown down to his shoulder and kept in a neat braid, unlike the shorter style that he kept on Kosei Island. His face, although showing signs of his age, was noticeably less wrinkly than Akira’s from what looked like a long-term lack of ability to make facial expressions, his current expression being one of vacancy, with his eyes staring off into what looked like nowhere. Several wires and IV drips were connected to his arms at different points, connecting him to a feed of medicine and his breathing machine, which was emitting a low hum as Akira could hear the soft sounds of Yusuke’s breathing.

“So this was what he meant.” Akira thought to himself as he took in the sight before him. At least now he had a better sense of how to proceed with this visit. But first, it would be rude to not greet the man he had been waiting to see.

“Hey there, you big lug.” Akira said affectionately, pulling up a chair and placing it next to Yusuke’s bedside and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to his forehead before he sat down and gently took his hand, lacing their fingers together. “I’m so glad to finally meet you in person…”

~~~~~

After spending several hours talking to Yusuke, Akira and Shinya were shooed out of the room by a pair of nurses and an assistance robot, who all moved to start changing the wires, drips, and medicines in Yusuke’s feed tubes.

As a result, Akira found himself wandering around outside of the room, waiting for the nurses to let him back inside. That was until…

“Excuse me?” Akira heard a soft-sounding woman’s voice say from behind him. He turned and saw, clad in a set of clean nurse’s scrubs, a petite woman in her early thirties with short curly auburn hair.

“Are you Kurusu-San?” She continued, clasping her hands in front of her.

“I am.” Akira replied. “And you are?”

“I’m Haru.” The nurse said, cracking a small, shy smile as she did so.

“Wait, YOU’RE Haru?” Akira said in shock, adjusting his glasses as he looked at the nurse once more. “Holy shit. I’m sorry, I was not expecting this.”

Haru giggled. “It’s fine.” She said reassuringly. “I understand that this may be a lot to take in.” She continued. “There are quite a few things I think we need to talk about. Would you like to discuss this over coffee?” She asked.

Akira looked over to Shinya, who nodded and pulled out his phone before the sound of his game started up before he headed off to a waiting area.

“Sure.” Akira said, turning back to Haru.

Haru put her hand on Akira’s arm to brace him in case he fell before she led him into the small cafeteria and led him in line and placed her order, Akira doing the same before they moved off to wait for their drinks.

The two waited and collected their drinks in silence until they finally sat down at a nearby table.

Haru immediately took a sip from her coffee before she briefly made a displeased expression in reaction to it.

“I apologize for the coffee’s quality beforehand.” She added, breaking the silence as she made small talk. “Most of the patients in this ward aren’t allowed to have any and many of the staff here just need it to stay awake during the late shifts, so I’m afraid that you won’t find anything ‘Café Quality.’” She explained.

Akira chuckled, putting down his coffee cup. “And what do you deem as ‘Café Quality?’” He asked curiously.

Haru’s face flushed in embarrassment. “I mean… like the Viennese or Blue Mountain roasts, for example.” She said. “I just… happened to know a lot about coffee. Not that that really matters right now.” She said, trying to change the topic. “So let’s talk about Yusuke-san.” She said.

Akira put his cup down. “I’m listening.” He said.

Haru cleared her throat. “I guess I should first say that I think it’s great that you came here to visit before he passes over. In all honesty, you’re the first person ever, aside from outside medical professionals of course, who’s visited him. He never had any family or friends before, for that matter.”

Akira blinked, completely shocked at all he had just heard. “ Wait… Passing over? Decades?? I’m the first person to visit him???”

Haru’s face fell. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No, he did not.” Akira said. “He seemed so secretive and ashamed about his past too. All he really said was that he was just visiting.”

“More like sampling the trial version.” Haru said. “I mean, I’ve only known him for the last three years.” She added. “We talk on the comm box.”

“I see.” Akira said.

“So I take it that he never told you how he ended up on life support?” Haru asked.

Akira shook his head. “He didn’t tell me.”

Haru’s face fell. “Honestly, it’s so sad to think about.” She said. “He’s had a rough life from the very beginning. He was orphaned at a young age and taken in by the famous painter Ichiryusai Madarame due to the connections he had with Yusuke-san’s sickly mother. Due to how he devoted all of his time to art as well as his, shall we say, quirks, he also never made any friends. He would later be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which does put a bit of his behavior as well as his hyperfocus in art into perspective. In fact, Yusuke-san’s entire life was spent learning, breathing, making art. It was all he ever did and all Madarame would ever teach him, to the extent that if Yusuke-san so much as messed up on an artwork or entered an art slump, Madarame would deny him food and nourishment until he broke it, and if Yusuke-san was being inspired, Madarame would overwork Yusuke-san to the point of exhaustion and then steal all his work and present it under his own name. ”

“That’s awful…” Akira commented, starting to feel upset over what he just learned.

“It gets worse.” Haru commented. “When Yusuke-san turned 18, he tried to move out and away from Madarame’s tutelage because he was starting to realize just what kind of bad things Madarame was doing to him. But before he could do so, he started to constantly feel weak enough to collapse if he stood for sat for longer than an hour, no doubt a result of all the years of being malnourished and overworked by Madarame as well as inherited whatever condition his mother must have had and eventually, his muscles started to deteriorate. Well, one day he had a seizure, and Madarame didn’t bother to call for help until by chance, a mailman passed through the neighborhood and saw the whole thing through the open window and called for an ambulance. But by the time help arrived, the damage had been done to Yusuke-san’s brain and to his body and he’s been in a comatose state on life support ever since.”

“When he was just 18?” Akira asked, feeling sad at the story he had heard.

Haru nodded. “Almost 50 years ago.” She added. “He’s been living off of government disability paychecks ever since. This has basically been Yusuke-san’s whole lifetime, and Kosei Island is a huge deal for him. One of the biggest deals, actually. He met the minimum age requirements to start going to Kosei Island a while ago and immediately wanted to go because he wanted to start re-experiencing life.” She continued. “But for now, until he passes over and makes this permanent, he’s on a 5-hour weekly time limit. But I guess you’re the same.”

Akira chuckled cynically. “They ration it out. They don’t trust us with more.” He explained. “They say you go crazy if you have too much, or you’ll dissociate from body and mind, like that doesn’t already happen in every senior home.”

“I mean, the system is there for therapeutic reasons, mainly for the sake of immersive nostalgic therapy. It’s supposed to help a lot with Alzheimer’s”. Haru pointed out. “But that technology has been around for decades ever since the project was first started by a team headed by the programmer Futaba Sakura and her mother, cognitive scientist Wakaba Isshiki in collaboration with an American team that would use this technology to set up the San Junipero system that is currently Kosei Island’s Sister City.”  Haru explained. “At the time, their method of recording the last surge of brainwaves that the human brain makes before it dies and converting it into a series of code in real time and uploading it to a virtual reality was considered revolutionary and this nursing home was one of the first to get this technology. So it was made to be one to allow small mercies. That’s why they named the island ‘Kosei’, meaning ‘life’ and ‘rebirth.’”

Akira blinked. That programmer’s name sounded familiar, but could it be?

“Wait, Futaba Sakura?” Akira asked in shock. “As in…”

“The Arcade rat in Club Newcomer?” Haru said, finishing Akira’s sentence. “The very same. Yusuke-san told me about her after his first day back from Kosei Island, but it is her, alright. She passed over a couple years ago, but when she was among the living, she did have quite a penchant for gaming, so it seems only natural that she’d want to spend her eternity playing video games there. In fact, I heard Sakura-san’s entire family is in the system now, which makes sense considering that Kosei Island was the very last project Isshiki worked on before she passed over due to her failing health.”

“Wow.” Akira said. “I never knew any of this.” He admitted. “I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about the people I hang out with on Kosei Island.” He said. “So tell me about this marriage.”

“Right.” Haru continued. “The government has got a triple-lockdown on euthanasia cases, which means that you have to get a sign-off from the doctor, the patient, and a family member.” She explained. “It’s to stop people from passing over just because they prefer Kosei Island to the real world.”

“That’s understandable.” Akira acknowledged.

“Well, in Yusuke-san’s case,” Haru continued. “He has no family, and no spouse or anything to sign off on the form for.”

“And so that’s why you guys are getting married.” Akira said, sitting back in his seat as he made sense of what he was just told.

“That’s right.” Haru nodded. “We have a priest coming in tomorrow, and then he’s scheduled to pass tomorrow afternoon.”

“’Scheduled to pass.’” Akira quoted. “Why don’t we just call it dying, because that’s what it is.”

“If you can call it dying.” Haru noted. “I mean, getting uploaded to the cloud? That sounds like heaven.”

“So, are you going to wear a dress?” Akira asked, part teasingly and part curiously.

Haru shook her head. “No. I mean, the ceremony is all happening on my coffee break.” She added. “I never married so I figured, what’s the harm?”

“A pretty girl like you never got married?” Akira said. “Well color me shocked.”

“I mean, I had the chance once, but it was an arranged marriage my father set up to an abusive man almost seven years older than me when I was still in high school all because he had money connections.” Haru admitted, blushing embarrassedly at Akira’s comment. “As soon as I broke out of the engagement, father cut me off, leaving me with enough money to put me through school, so I had to put aside my dream of starting a café for a more practical job of going into nursing. And since then I’ve been too busy to really find someone. So I think it’s a nice gesture to help someone like Yusuke out with this.”

“You’re a good person.” Akira said, suddenly getting an idea for something.

“I know this is sudden to ask.” He said, sitting up. “But can you please let me and Yusuke connect to the Island right now?”

Haru’s expression shifted to one of nervousness. “You know I can’t do that right now, we need to keep him on his schedule. Besides, once he’s permanently on the island, you can see him without waiting for him.”

“Please.” Akira pleaded. “This is really important. Just give me five minutes. That’s all I ask for. I need to ask him something.”

“Well…” Haru said, her expression softening. “If it’s just for five minutes, I probably could.” She said.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Akira said.

“Hang on, let me take you back to his room before we fit the microchips on you.” She said.

~~~~~

The sweltering summer heat of the midday sun was almost overwhelming as Akira walked along the beach outside his house back on Kosei Island. He didn’t have to look long until he found Yusuke.

Yusuke was standing on the beach, letting his bare feet get washed over by the waves as he looked up at the bright sky in wonder. Akira saw Yusuke turn to face him as soon as he got closer.

“Akira!” He said, letting a smile cross his face. “Isn’t this amazing? I’ve never seen this during the day. It’s so warm. And all the sights are so beautiful.” He continued. He frowned. “But I don’t know why we’re here.”

“I do.” Akira said as he moved to stand in front of Yusuke. “I have something to ask you. But we don’t have much time”

“What is it?” Yusuke asked. “What is so important that it requires us to meet like this?”

“Well, I heard you’re getting married and passing over tomorrow.” Akira said.

“Yes I am.” Yusuke said, moving a hand up to brush away some hair being blown in his face by the sea breeze. “I guess I’ll permanently be on my honeymoon here after tomorrow.” He added. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I’m going to say something crazy.” Akira said, moving forward to take Yusuke’s hands in his.

“I am listening.” Yusuke said.

“Do you want to marry me instead?” Akira asked, kneeling down on one knee. “Haru is a nice girl and all, but wouldn’t it be nicer if you married someone you actually made a connection with?”

“Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?” Yusuke asked, blinking as he tried to make sense of what is happening. “Are you ACTUALLY proposing to me?”

Akira only responded by nodding.

Yusuke knelt down in front of Akira before he flung his arms around Akira’s shoulders and started pressing kisses all over his face before he finally pulled away. “You already know my answer.” He said.

Akira grinned. “Is that a ‘Yes?’?” He asked teasingly.

“YES!” Yusuke said, letting a big smile cross his face.

“Thank God.” Akira said. “I’m so glad.”

~~~~~

After arranging a last-minute stay at a nearby hostel, Akira and Shinya returned to the nursing home the next day for the wedding.

The wedding itself passed smoothly and quickly, and two hours later, a couple of doctors walked into the room, carrying a variety of documents, cloudy-looking IV drip packets, and specialized tech equipment, before they all proceeded to walk Akira through the process of signing the legal documents pertaining to his relation to Yusuke as well as the authorization form to allow Yusuke to pass over to Kosei Island.

Once all the paperwork was finished, a doctor hooked Yusuke up to the new IV drip before another doctor placed a RFID microchip on Yusuke’s temple and started up a recording program on a computer that yet another doctor brought in. Once Yusuke was live on the system and his brainwave patterns were being monitored in real time on a program on-screen, a doctor handed Akira a small remote with a switch.

“We figured since you’re his husband and all, you’d want to do the honors.” The doctor said.

“I understand. Thank you.” Akira nodded, taking the remote from the doctor before he turned to look at Yusuke. Akira stepped closer and took Yusuke’s hand in his free one and gazed at Yusuke, taking in every detail of his features before he took a deep breath and finally pressed the button.

The sound of machines humming filled the air, almost drowning out the sound of Yusuke’s steady breathing as they started feeding the venom into his bloodstream while the computer recorded all of his brainwave patterns until finally, just minutes after, everything stopped and silence filled the air.

That silence didn’t last long however, as almost immediately, everyone in the room heard the sound of crows cawing and birds chirping. Akira looked out the window towards the source of the noise and saw a crow and a bluejay sitting on the outer windowsill of Yusuke’s room. The bluejay jeered loudly before it took off flying into the sky. The crow briefly turned away from the other bird that just flew, before it too, turned and started flying after its partner.

As Akira turned back to Yusuke, he saw a single tear escape from one of his still-open eyes and slowly run down his cheek. Akira gently reached his hand to Yusuke’s face and slowly closed his eyes before he pressed a kiss to Yusuke’s forehead.

“I’ll see you on the other side.” Akira whispered, before the doctors finally showed him and Shinya out of the room.

~~~~~

When Yusuke awakened, he found himself sitting on the beach outside of Akira’s house, much like the last time. The heat of the air was still as hot as he had remembered it from the previous time, but it somehow didn’t seem to bother him as much anymore.

Reaching to his bag, Yusuke pulled out his sketchbook before he started walking towards the water, feeling the warm, grainy sensation of the sand under his bare feet and soaking up the warmth of the sun’s rays on his skin and feeling the cool, wet waves lapping at his feet as he started sketching the scene in front of him. This was real. All of it. For once in his life, he felt like he finally could experience the beauty of life and call someplace home. Well, almost like he could call it home. There was still something, or more likely someone, missing from this picture.

“Hey!” Yusuke heard Akira’s voice say from behind him. Perfect timing. Smiling, Yusuke turned to face Akira.

“I was almost starting to wonder if you weren’t going to show up.” Yusuke said, smiling as he saw Akira, sitting in the driver’s seat of his red Cadillac and wearing a nice black suit.

“And yet you didn’t dress up to see me?” Akira asked teasingly. “Come on!”

Yusuke laughed and in the blink of an eye, his casual outfit changed into a fancy blue suit. “Is this better?” He asked.

“You look amazing!” Akira said, smiling. “Now come on, get in, I know a place where we can enjoy the view better.”

~~~~~

A few hours later, Akira and Yusuke finally arrived at a cliff overlooking the city and the ocean below them. Akira had held Yusuke’s hand the entire time they were driving, while the radio played softly in the background. By the time Akira parked the car, the sun looked like it was halfway into the ocean, creating a breathtaking sight as the lights from the city started to flicker and blink in the distance against the oranges and pinks of the sky.

_"Wise men say only fools rush in_   
_But I can't help falling in love with you._   
_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?_   
_If I can't help falling in love with you..."_

The radio continued to play in the background as Akira got out of the car and sat on the hood. Yusuke got out and sat down next to him, leaning his head on Akira’s shoulder as he sketched the view below and the sight of the man next to him.

“This is wonderful.” Yusuke said wistfully. “I don’t want this moment to end.” He said.

“I’m so glad.” Akira said as he leaned in closer to Yusuke.

“Everything looks so real.” Yusuke continued. “Everything FEELS real.” He said, placing his free hand down on the metal of the car’s hood before he jumped off and walked to the front until he faced Akira.

“What are you doing?” Akira asked.

“It’s so beautiful, and so wonderful. I love it here. I just LOVE IT!” Yusuke exclaimed happily.

“You’ve been here before though.” Akira said, chuckling. “What makes this so different?”

“Well, I’m spending it with my muse, a.k.a you. And I get to live here now.” Yusuke said. “Akira, please.” He continued, taking Akira’s hands in his. “Be with me.”

“I’m with you now though.” Akira said, suddenly feeling uneasy about where this conversation was going.

“But that’s not what I mean, and you know it.” Yusuke said. “Live here with me.” He said. “Pass over. When it’s your time, of course.” He said.

“Yusuke…” Akira began, suddenly starting to feel a little agitated.

“Stay with me.”

“Can we please just enjoy tonight?” Akira said, changing the topic.

“And you’re running out of time for tonight.” Yusuke said, suddenly starting to feel agitated that Akira didn’t seem to understand or acknowledge what he was saying and that he didn’t seem to understand why. “In ten minutes, your timer will take you off the network, and then I’ll have to wait a week to see you again.”

“You know I’m just a visitor.” Akira said.

“For a couple months more maybe, and then what happens after that?” Yusuke pointed out.

“We are not discussing this.” Akira said resolutely as he got down from the hood of the car and stood up.

“And then you’re gone. Just… gone. When you can have forever.” Yusuke continued, seemingly not listening to what Akira had just said.

“Forever?” Akira retorted. “Who even can make sense of forever?”

“Okay then, for however long you want.” Yusuke said. “You can literally remove yourself just like that.” He added, snapping his fingers. “Look at this.” He continued, gesturing to the view below. “Touch this.” He said as he tapped on the hood of the car.

“I’m going.” Akira said, walking back and getting back in the driver’s seat, shaking his head as he tried to keep his temper from boiling over.

“Akira, this is real.” Yusuke said, walking over to stand next to Akira. “What about us?”

Akira shook his head. “You know this was just a gesture, right?”

Yusuke’s face fell. “But you MARRIED me.” He said. “I don’t understand…”

“I married you to help you pass over.” Akira said. “It was a gesture of kindness.”

“It’s not so kind of you to leave, you know.” Yusuke pointed out.

A feeling of guilt ran through Akira’s heart as he saw the look of disappointment on Yusuke’s face. “Okay, look. I’m sorry, okay?” He said, reaching out his hand to take Yusuke’s. “I… I got this chance…. We got this chance, and I wanted to share it with you, but I’ve made my choice.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I’m sorry, okay? I know I married you, but I made a promise to Makoto.”

Yusuke’s disappointed expression shifted to one of anger as he heard Akira’s words. “Just what is it with you?” He asked, trying, but ultimately failing, to keep the choked sounds of heartbreak from entering his voice. “Is it because you feel bad that your wife isn’t here? Because that was HER CHOICE.”

“Yusuke don’t…” Akira said, almost in warning. “Do not go there.”

“She chose not to stay here.” Yusuke continued, ignoring Akira. “It’s like she just left you. She had all the opportunity to stay, but no, she CHOSE to leave you.”

“Yusuke you don’t know what you’re saying.” Akira interjected, feeling the anger in his voice.

“You should be angry at HER.” Yusuke continued. “Not whipping yourself with guilt. You just can’t seem to see it! What Makoto did was selfish, actually.”

“I said stop it!” Akira said, closing his eyes and tearing his hands away from Yusuke’s as he got back out of the car and stood up so that he was back once more at eye level with Yusuke. Yusuke’s eyes widened as he stopped talking.

“Makoto and I were together for forty-nine years.” Akira said. “FORTY-NINE YEARS. You can’t even begin to imagine just what we both went through. You can’t know the bond, the pain, the laughter, the boredom, the yearning, the love of it all!” He said, his voice almost raising uncontrollably as he felt the tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes from just the thought. “The goddamn love. You just cannot know just how much we sacrificed.”

“I−” Yusuke began, only to get cut off once more.

“No, you just CANNOT know all the years I gave to her and all the years she gave me.” Akira continued. “Did you ever stop thinking about yourself or even bother to ask? Me and Makoto? We had a daughter, Yuko. Always stubborn, always beautiful, just like her mother. She died in a car crash at age 39 and you know what? Makoto and I felt that heartbreak AS ONE.” He scowled. “If you think that you are the only person who has suffered, you can go fuck yourself.” He spat before he got back into his car and started up the ignition.

“Well I didn’t know!” Yusuke shouted angrily over the noise of the car engine starting up as Akira turned off the radio.

“You want to know what Makoto said when they offered her a chance to go to Kosei Island, this fake graveyard that you’re so in love with, do you know what she said when she was on her deathbed?” Akira said, biting back the tears as he turned away from him. “She said ‘How can I go there, when she never had the chance to.’ And then she just left. And you know what?” Akira said, turning back to Yusuke. “I WISH I can believe that Makoto is together with Yuko now, but you know what? I don’t. I believe they’re nowhere. Just like you said. They’re gone. So no, the truth is, I think I pitied you more than I loved you, that’s what those strong feelings were. Maybe I might have stayed with you had I not been so faithful to Makoto but as it stands, I just did this to help you, but don’t even bother giving me some peachy sales pitch about how good forever could be.”

“I’m sorry!” Yusuke said pleadingly. “Akira please I’m sorry.”

“If you want to spend forever and end up like those lost people over at Shujin go right on ahead, but I’m out of here.” Akira said as he pulled the handbrake and with that, he turned the car away from the cliff and tore away back down the road he had come from.

“Akira, wait!” Yusuke shouted, running after Akira but only to be left behind in a cloud of dust.

Yusuke raised the crook of his elbow to cover his nose from inhaling dust as he ran through the dust to chase after Akira, an effort that seemed futile, until he heard the horrifying sound of glass shattering and metal crunching under an impact in what could only distinctively be a car crash.

Feeling terror seize his heart, Yusuke ran down the street after the source of the noise until he found Akira’s car, now a crumpled heap of smoking red metal and shattered glass. Yusuke stared in horror at the wreckage before his next instinct took over and he found himself by the driver’s seat and pulling Akira out of it. Almost as soon as Akira was out though, he vanished into thin air right out of his arms as his timer ran out for the week and Akira got zapped off the network.

In defeat, Yusuke sat down on the ground next to the wreck, his suit now smudged and dirtied from all the smoke and dust, all the while cursing himself for not reading the mood and knowing when to stop and thus ruining his perfect start to life. He felt an overwhelming surge of emotions take over him and the next thing he knew, he started sobbing uncontrollably until he couldn’t cry any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This chapter ended up being the second thing I wrote for P5 after the game came out (the first thing being a chapter for "Heaven is a Place on Earth" that was published on the same day). TBH I was going to finish this a week before the game came out, but then my computer died on me and I had to wait a month to salvage all the documents (including all my fic drafts, notes, and outlines) from the computer and then there was also finals, Sakuracon prep, as well as time spent on playing P5 (as well as Ace Attorney 3 and Fire emblem awakening oops) and well, I only just now got my writing groove back! I hope to update with the final chapter soon though, so keep an eye out for that! Thank you all for waiting! I really appreciate it!


	5. Chapter 5

After his argument with Yusuke, Akira couldn’t possibly imagine that his week could get any worse, but as his luck would have it, that was exactly what happened.

Almost a day after getting back from Tokyo, Akira’s breathing started to get worse. At first, he blamed his shortness of breath on him not being used to the amount of pollution in the air in Tokyo compared to Sumaru’s. But the next day, not only was he almost gasping for air at every breath he took, he started coughing up blood.

Akira felt dizzy as he stared in horror at the amount of blood in the palm of his hand that he had practically hacked his lungs out into. However, before he could wipe it off, let alone call for a nurse, Shinya burst through the door of Akira’s room.

“Kurusu-san!” He exclaimed in alarm. “I heard really loud coughing, You sound like you just coughed up a lung!”

“I might as well have.” Akira said shakily as he showed his blood-covered hand to Shinya.

“I’m going to call a doctor.” Shinya said, pressing a button by Akira’s bedside to notify one of the doctor’s on-call before he gently moved Akira back to his bed and hooked him up to his respirator. And minutes later, a doctor showed up to start running diagnostic and treatment tests on Akira.

~~~~~~

After hours of testing and several more nurses being called in to assist the doctor, Akira was finally given a less-than-pleasant diagnosis.

“We regret to tell you this…” The doctor began as he shuffled through the documents in the manila folder in his hand.

“Just tell me.” Akira said, almost exasperatedly. “I’ve been told I’m close to death on multiple occasions, I don’t need to have things sugarcoated.”

“Alright then.” The doctor said, taking a deep breath as he pulled out a print-out of the results of one of the scans that had been done on Akira earlier in the day. “We have finally processed the results of your scans and we have found three malignant growths in your lungs as well as two in your liver.” He explained, pointing at various lit-up points of the image.

“And that means?” Akira prompted, taking the scan and taking a close look at it, all the while feeling virtually unfazed by what he was just told.”

“In this case, it means you have at most, a month to live.” The doctor said solemnly. “We are sorry.”

“I’ve been told that I had ‘three months to live’ six months ago.” Akira pointed out, although not in protest or denial of his situation. “What makes this one different?”

“Well,” The doctor said, adjusting his glasses. “The projected growth of these tumors is apparently going to be too fast for chemotherapy or surgery to have much of an impact on it. And at your age and level of strength, the chemotherapy might actually do more harm to you than help.”

“I see.” Akira said, settling back into the pillows supporting his back as he handed the scan back to the doctor.

“We advise that you start making any preparations you deem necessary.” He said. “If you have any questions about the kind of services we provide, feel free to ask.”

“Thank you, I will.” Akira said as the staff left the room.

As soon as Akira was left alone, he let out a sigh, feeling both parts relieved and resigned to his fate. He hadn’t even realized he had been waiting for this level of finality about his life in a long time, but now that it was finally happening, he just wanted it to go quick. His next thought though, strangely went back to what happened between him and Yusuke the last time he was on Kosei Island, and immediately, a wave of guilt and sudden feelings of indecision about his choices washed over him. Akira didn’t know why this was suddenly coming up now, but the more he thought about it and the way he had snapped at Yusuke in light of his choice, the worse he felt. The feelings of negativity surrounding Akira started to prove emotionally draining to him, and eventually, Akira dozed off from the amount of exhaustion he felt.

~~~~

Two days later, Shinya took Akira outside to look at the beach near the hospice per Akira’s request.

Akira spent the entire time silently watching the waves crash upon the shore as he pondered his fate, his decisions and what to do about Yusuke. Akira found that choosing on burial plots was not a problem for him, as that was something he had thought about ever since Makoto died, but as soon as the doctors started asking him if he wanted to pass over to Kosei Island, Akira found himself starting to have sudden second thoughts. And after much thinking, Akira finally decided he wanted to clear his mind before he could make any decisions by sitting out by the beach. However, he soon found the answer he had been looking for.

“Well, okay then.” Akira said out loud, focusing his eyes on the sunset, which was still too bright for his tired eyes.

“Excuse me?” Shinya asked.

“I guess I’m ready.” He mused out loud.

“For what?” Shinya said, thoroughly confused.

Akira smiled. “For the rest of it.” He said. This time, he knew his time was drawing soon, And he had never felt more ready. There were still a few more things he needed to do before he could go though and he realized he needed to tend to it as soon as possible.

~~~~~

On Kosei Island, Akira found Yusuke in exactly the same place he had found him the previous week, wearing the same suit Akira had last seen him in.

As Akira drove up to the beach, he saw the blue-haired boy sitting on the sand, surrounded by dozens of crumpled paper sheets as he sat cross-legged and sketched furiously in his sketchbook while staring out to sea. Akira parked his car (which sadly was a different one from the Cadillac that he had crashed the previous week) before he walked up to Yusuke and gently sat down next to him.

“Hey.” Akira said gently.

Yusuke, upon hearing Akira’s greeting, promptly turned away from him before he tried erasing something from his sketchbook before ultimately tearing the page out of the book, crumpling it up, and throwing it into the enormous pile of crumpled paper balls.

“You’ve distracted me from my drawing.” Yusuke said, still not turning to look at Akira.

“I’m sorry about your drawing.” Akira replied.

“It wasn’t to my liking anyway.” Yusuke said. “It seems my attempt to try to turn it into something decent was in vain once I made that error.” He added. He stopped and put down his pencil. “Why did you come back? Surely you didn’t just return to this island that you hate so much just to distract me from my drawings, unless you despise me that much you’d do something so spiteful.”

“Hey wait, what?” Akira asked in confusion. “No, actually I don’t hate you at all. I actually came here to apologize.”

Yusuke shook his head. “You do not have to do such a thing.” He said. “What I said about Makoto, the way I pressured you, the way I ignored you… it was awful. I shouldn’t have done that. I‘m sorry.  I shouldn’t have been so disrespectful.”

“No.” Akira said, gently taking Yusuke’s hand in his. “I’m also in the wrong. I shouldn’t have blown up at you. I felt scared, and I felt agitated, but that was no excuse for the way I yelled at you or said the things I said. And the thing is, I understand your viewpoint. And mine came from a place of narrow-mindedness. I got the chance to fully live my life and fall in love. But you? You were robbed of every chance you had of living your life before it could begin. Kosei island is a place of new beginnings for you, of course you would choose it. I’m just so sorry for insulting you, for wanting it. Could you ever forgive me?”

Yusuke smiled slightly before he nodded. “I forgive you.” He said. “I still don’t understand why you don’t want to cut me from your life after what I’ve said. People have abandoned me for much less.”

“Well, do you know what’s the beautiful thing about love?” Akira asked gently. “It can forgive and be willing to try again. And the thing is, I’m not scared anymore, now that I realize and accept my feelings for you. I guess the real reason why I was so prickly to you was because I was so scared of moving on from Makoto.” He paused. “But I realized that if I didn’t let go of the past, I’d be losing out on a pretty amazing future.”

 “Akira, what are you saying?” Yusuke asked.

“Well, I decided I will be passing over to Kosei Island after all.” Akira said, a tone of resolution in his voice as he smiled. “My condition got worse after last week and the doctors told me I have less than a month to live, so I decided to cut it early and pass over next week.”

 Yusuke’s eyes widened in shock as the realization hit him. “B-but Akira! Are you sure about this? This is a permanent decision!” He exclaimed. “What about Makoto? What about your promise to her?”

Akira shook his head, still smiling. “I’ll be buried in the same plot as her and Yuko.” He explained. “It’s the one way I know for sure I’ll be with them. And you know, if Makoto is out there somewhere, I’m sure she’ll want me to be happy.” He said. “With you, I feel happy. If I stay here on Kosei Island with you, I know I won’t be going into the void in vain, and I know I won’t be losing another person that’s precious to me.” He whispered.

“But What if you regret this? This is so sudden.” Yusuke said, shutting his sketchbook. “I don’t think we even know each other well enough for this.” He pointed out. “What if this turns out to be a mistake?”

“This won’t be a mistake.” Akira said, shaking his head and squeezing Yusuke’s hand in his. “I know it. I’ve never stopped thinking about you since the day I met you back in the club, and the things I feel for you, I felt the same way for Makoto the day I met her. Underneath that quirky personality, You’re smart, you’re good looking, and you’re kind. I know I’ll love you.” He paused. “Plus, I mean, we ARE still married, so that also counts for something.” He pointed out.

“I thought the vows were ‘til Death Do Us Part’ though.” Yusuke pointed out. “You don’t have to call me your husband anymore.” He added, still trying to process everything Akira was saying.

“Yeah, but I want to call you my husband.” Akira said as he squeezed Yusuke’s hand. “If we’re going to spend eternity here, we might as well spend it bound by matrimony, don’t you think?” He said before he briefly pressed a kiss against Yusuke’s cheek.

Yusuke blushed deeply as he felt his eyes well up with tears before he smiled widely. In this moment, he was most certainly glad he had shut his sketchbook. Akira could feel his heart melt at the sight of such an adorable smile, and in that moment, he vowed to himself to always protect it. Yusuke wiped his eyes on the back of his free hand. “I’m so happy.” He said. “Thank you.” He said as gently wrapped his arms around Akira in a secure embrace. “Thank you so much for deciding to stay with me.”

“You’ve spent your whole life without love. I want to show you what it feels like now. And I’m just so excited to spend all of eternity with you.” He said, looking into Yusuke’s eyes. “Just… Wow, I can’t believe I have such a handsome man as my husband.”

Yusuke blushed before he gently kissed Akira, who cupped his face in his hands and gently kissed him back before they separated.

“I feel so happy.” Yusuke said as he smiled. “It’s like every color is brighter and more vibrant, every light is radiant and everything seems softer.” He said. “I want to capture this moment.” He added as he opened his sketchbook and took his pencil. “Please hold still.” He said.

Akira giggled. “Alright.” He said happily as Yusuke started sketching, glancing between both Akira and his sketchbook at intermittent times.

Finally, about twenty minutes later, Yusuke finally put down his pencil. “Incredible…” He breathed. “You truly are the most amazing muse.” He said.

“Am I?” Akira asked innocently as he felt the blush rise to his face.

“The most beautiful, inspiring muse I’ve ever had.” Yusuke said, nodding as he turned the sketchbook around to show his work to Akira. “I have been having such an awful art slump until you came back. I truly do believe you are my inspiration.” He added.

Akira gently took the sketchbook out of Yusuke’s hands and almost gasped at what he saw on the page. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Almost. Although everything was in greyscale due to how Yusuke’s pencil only had one color, the amount of depth, shading and detail that came together to bring out an image of Akira, smiling against a brilliant sunset against the ocean and the lights of the city.

“This is beautiful.” Akira breathed. “I don’t even know what to say.” He said, feeling his heart swell with affection for the artist.

“I’m afraid It only captures a fraction of the love I feel for you.” Yusuke began.

“It’s still amazing.” Akira said as he gently leaned in and kissed Yusuke. “Thank you.”

Afterwards, the two proceeded to watch the sunset and the twinkling lights of the city that could be seen on the shore on the other side of the island, letting a comfortable silence fall between them as fireflies started coming out of the bush and gently illuminating the slowly growing darkness, the only sounds to be heard was the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the radio of Akira’s car.

As the next song started up, Akira perked up as he heard the opening notes.

“We have to dance to this!” Akira said, sitting up straight in response to the music’s familiarity.

“Why?” Yusuke asked, hesitant at Akira’s suggestion. Yusuke recognized it as the song he had heard on the radio the week prior before the big fight broke out.

“Last week, we never got to have our first dance as a married couple!” Akira exclaimed as he pulled Yusuke up with him, his outfit changing from jeans and a hoodie to the black suit from last week in a blink of an eye. “Come on, dance with me! There’s no one else but else and there’s no bright lights and loud music to cause a sensory overload so you should be fine!”

“Alright, I suppose one dance wouldn’t hurt.” Yusuke said, smiling widely as he got up and changed his suit to a clean one in the blink of an eye before Akira stepped closer and put one hand on his waist and the other on his shoulder. Yusuke mirrored the action, gazing into Akira’s eyes before they both stepped in time to the music.

 _“Wise men say only fools rush in._  
_But I can't help falling in love with you._  
_Shall I stay?_  
_Would it be a sin?_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you."_

Akira smiled as he gently held Yusuke close and swayed in time to the music, feeling his heart melt at the expression of affection in Yusuke’s eyes as he did so. He leaned in and gently nuzzled his nose against Yusuke’s, prompting Yusuke’s smile to grow wider.

 _'Like a river flows surely to the sea._  
_Darling so it goes,_  
_Some things are meant to be._  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too._  
_For I can't help falling in love with you."_

As the song continued, Akira gently picked Yusuke up in a bridal carry and gently held him tight as he spun around once in time to the music, prompting a giggle from Yusuke before Akira kissed him and then gently set him back on his feet and resumed dancing, feeling alive together in the beautiful magic of the moment against the sunset and firefly-lit night.

~~~~~

The room was quiet as the doctors and nurses hooked Akira up to the machine and inserted tubes into his wrists and stuck a microfrequency recording chip to his brain. The doctors did their standard speech about what they were going to do and how they were going to induce the Euthanasia via a venomous injection and what to expect but all Akira could really do was just nod his head to acknowledge the doctors, not entirely listening to what they had to say. He already knew what was going to be the outcome of this procedure; he just wished they’d get on with it. The longer they talked about the details, the more anxious he started to feel about his decision, despite the fact that he KNEW he was making the right choice.

Finally the doctors asked Akira if he was ready. He nodded, and the doctor pressed a button. Everyone and everything in the room fell silent, save for the gentle hum of the machine and the beeps of the screen tracking his pulse. Akira started to feel a stinging pain overtake his body as the poison started to make its way through his veins. Determined to keep his mind off of the pain, he started to take deep breaths and focused on a spot on the ceiling until his vision started to get fuzzy as the poison started taking effect on him and his world started to grow darker until it slowly faded to black.

~~~~~

Akira woke up in his bed, the feeling of the soft sheets on his skin a comforting sensation after his memory of the pain. He blinked blearily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up before getting out of bed and got changed. Everything in his house suddenly felt more real to him now. Every sensation, every feeling, every texture, it all felt genuine, and it all felt like a comfort to him. He wandered into the living room, taking in the sight of everything when he suddenly heard the honk of a car horn.

Akira looked out the window and saw his Cadillac being driven up to his house, smiling when he saw who the driver was. Feeling elation in his heart, Akira stepped out.

“Hey there, gorgeous!” Akira said as Yusuke parked the car.

“Stay right there!” Yusuke ordered as he put his fingers up in a frame shape. “I want to take in this beautiful moment.” He said.

Akira chuckled. “Do you want to draw me right now?” He asked.

Yusuke put his hands down and shook his head. “I want to draw you in a more beautiful location against the sunset.” He said. “Are you ready to go? This sunset isn’t going to last forever.” He pointed out.

Akira smiled. “Of course.” He said as he headed toward the car, opening the front passenger seat door and stepping in. He leaned over to kiss Yusuke, who reciprocated before he started up the engine, turned on the radio, and drove out onto the empty highway.

Akira felt a feeling of exhilaration and freedom as he felt the wind blow through his face, putting his arms up in the air and whooping in joy before looking back at his husband and listening to the lyrics of the song on the radio.

 _“In this world we're just beginning_  
_To understand the miracle of living._  
_Baby, I was afraid before,_  
_But I'm not afraid anymore."_

Yusuke leaned over to kiss Akira, who kissed him back before they both felt the car veer into the shoulder of the road. With a laugh, Yusuke looked back to the road and moved the steering wheel so that they were back in the middle of the lane, but moving a hand to gently hold Akira’s, interlacing their fingers together as they did so.

 _"Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?_  
_Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth._  
_They say in Heaven, love comes first._  
_We'll make Heaven a place on Earth._  
_Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth."_

As Yusuke drove the car along the empty road into the sunset, Akira couldn’t help but take it all in; from the breeze in his hair to the ocean breeze to the gentle warmth of the setting sun on his skin to the gentle, but firm and reassuring grip of his husband’s hand on his and Akira couldn’t help but feel happy, happy that he’s here and this is all real to him now, and that he’ll forever be able to be with his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this AU! Thank you all so much for sticking with me! I look forward to starting some new fics and finishing others in the (hopefully near) future! Until next time, thanks for reading!


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